#but so glad she has so many people sending her love <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mayasdeluca]

Makes me so happy to see so much love and support on Ali's post of the billboard in NYC in celebration of her retirement. Seeing so many people ranging from family, friends, teammates, former teammates, players around the league all showing their support and acknowledging that she deserves this just shows how big of an impact she's had on this sport on and off the field. Hope she's enjoying every minute of it and able to celebrate to the best of her ability ❤️

[imaginespazzi]

Part 8: The Toxic In Intoxication

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

Your mouth is poison (your mouth is wine)

(In which an all over the place writer, writes something that's a little bit all over the place)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Fluff, Jealousy,

Words: 9.0K

TW: Swearing, a little bit of violence, mentions of blood, men being men

A/N: Hi lovelies :) Unfortunately, as I've been warning y'all for a while, the deadline did finally slip through my fingers. However I'm hoping y'all will forgive me for it because I am only one day late and this chapter is quite long. I do wanna warn y'all in advance that there won't be a chapter next week because I am going on vacation and my laptop is staying very, very far away from me. There's a lot going on in this chapter and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing but I'm hoping y'all will enjoy it anyways. I did actually edit this time but who knows how successful that was, so please let me know about typos/mistakes. As always, feel free to tell me about what you liked, what you disliked and anything you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your weeks my loves <3

August 2025

Azzi Fudd is a spectacular liar. She excels at keeping up a façade of yes everything is perfectly fine in front of her friends and family. She’s quite good at tricking people she can barely stand into thinking oh yes i’m totally enjoying this conversation. But the person Azzi lies the most to, is without a doubt herself. As she steps out of the car into the hot Indiana air, bustling with noises from the growing crowd inside, Azzi internally repeats a lie to herself again: she did not show up to all-star weekend for a glimpse of her ex girlfriend. She’s here, as per Colleen’s managerial advice, to build connections, to further her career and to expand on opportunities in the basketball world. The fact that Paige Bueckers, who Azzi hasn’t seen in three months -the longest period of time they’d spent apart since she’d started at UConn- is definitely also going to be attending tonight’s party, is merely a happenstance. 

Taking a deep breath, Azzi puts one kitten heeled foot in front of the other, trying to ignore her heightened nerves. This isn’t her preferred scene by any means. She’d much rather be back in her hotel room, curled on her couch with a book and a pint of ice cream. It’s not that Azzi doesn’t like parties; she has her fair share of fun at Ted’s, but it’s the unfamiliarity of the environment and the lack of that once ever present comforting hand that used to tap out i’m here for you against the back of her own at big events like these, that has her yearning to crawl back into the car and hide away. 

“Azzi?” a familiar voice calls from behind her and Azzi lets out a sigh of relief as she sees Aaliyah walking towards her with a large welcoming grin, “Azeray!”

“Li-Li. Thank god you’re here,” Azzi reaches up to hug her former teammate, mentally thanking whatever god was looking out for her. She’d dreaded walking in by herself and now she wouldn’t have to. Really she probably should probably send Coach a ‘thank you’ text for having so many alumni in the league that there was bound to be a Husky she could attach herself to for the night. 

“I’m glad to see you too Az,” Aaliyah says, pulling away and looking at Azzi with a semi-concerned look, “but you seem a little extra relieved to see me? You good dude?”

“Just- just a little nervous,” Azzi admits, shuffling her feet uneasily. 

Realization dawns on Aaliyah’s face, “cause of Paige?”

“No you know I don’t like big unfamiliar places,” Azzi sighs when Aaliayh gives her a pointed look, “but I guess maybe- maybe a little cause of Paige.”

The Mystics forward shakes her head before linking her arms through Azzi’s, “I swear, I leave y’all for one year and everything implodes-," she bites her tongue, "shit was that insensitive?”

“No,” Azzi grimaces, “that’s pretty much exactly what happened.”

Something hard coils in her stomach at Aaliyah’s words. The truth is they’d been fine. Better than fine even. And then suddenly Azzi was lighting a box of matches she hadn’t even known she was holding and her whole world was on fire; an implosion of everything Azzi had once thought inflammable. She’d burned her hands trying to rescue them and all she has to show for it are invisible red hot pustules that refuse to heal. But perhaps, she thinks, that’s what a pyromaniac like her had deserved. 

Azzi cowers under the flashing lights of the cameras, clinging tighter to Aaliyah’s arm as the two of them make their way onto the orange carpet, the cameramen immediately swinging their devices to capture the college basketball player more than likely to be the number one pick in next year’s WNBA draft. She feels herself tense under their piercing gaze, anchored only by Aaliyah's strong and steady presence next to her. And as they pose for the cameras, she’s thankful for her former teammate’s company but she can’t shake the feeling that it should have been someone else. 

“And look who we have here,” Lexie Brown says excitedly as the two of them approach the interviewer, “y’all Huskies clean up nice.”

“We try, we try,” Aaliyah answers charismatically, doing a little hair flip to match her tone. 

“Aaliyah, it's your first all-star nod, how are you feeling?” 

“I feel great, you know it’s always good to see yourself being acknowledged and being an all-star has always been a goal of mine. So, I hope it’s the first of many and I’m just hoping my team gets the W tomorrow,” Aaliyah answers diplomatically.

Lexie turns to Azzi, “I bet you’re really proud of her. I mean you’ve got a couple of teammates who are first-time all stars between Aaliyah and Paige. You’ve gotta be feeling pretty proud of them”

“Y-yeah I mean,” Azzi clears her throat, trying not to flinch at the mention of Paige’s name, “It’s been- it’s been really exciting to watch them and I’m extremely proud-”

She’s cut off by the sound of excited chatter filling up the air and Azzi doesn’t have to turn around to know who’s just entered the premises. Not when she has a whole separate sensory system that flares up just for her. Azzi’s skin prickles as she registers the sound of familiar peals of laughter echoing from the orange carpet. She digs her nails into the palm of her hand, forcing herself not to turn around. 

“Speak of the devil,” Lexie says goodnaturedly, getting her hand ready to beckon the blonde over and Azzi feels panic suffocate her lungs, not quite ready to face Paige yet. 

“Oh I don’t think-” Aaliyah tries to cut in, glancing worriedly at her friend but it’s too late. 

“Paige,” Lexie calls out, beaming over Azzi’s head at the Dallas Wings’ newest star point guard. 

The world seems to move in slow motion as Azzi feels Paige getting closer and closer to her. She smells the faint scent of fresh mint weaved with a hint of citrus first. Then she hears the sound of Paige’s breathing, perfectly even to anybody else but Azzi can hear the staggered harshness hidden beneath it. And as the blonde passes over her to settle on Lexi’s other side, she feels Paige’s arm brush against her own and it hurts to breathe. The contact lasts for a second but Azzi swears it’ll last forever, tattooing itself on her bicep as a wretched reminder of a touch she’s no longer allowed to crave. 

It’s funny, there’s a hurricane swirling between them and Paige can barely look at Azzi, keeping her eyes firmly on Lexie and Aaliyah as she greets the trio. And yet, there’s a sense of calm -of peace- that seems to wash over Azzi just by having Paige near her again. The older woman seems to possess some sort of magical power that weaves itself into Azzi’s nervous system, soothing away her frazzled nerves with an unspoken promise of and if you give me the chance i’ll make it all okay. 

Despite the hectic transition from a full college season to a frantic W season, Paige looks ethereal as always. Her two piece cropped vest top and straight fitted pants match the color of her eyes and a silver chain dangles across her chest. Two strands of blonde hair hide her signature diamond studs, the rest of it pulled back into a slightly messy bun. Azzi gulps at the way the vest top parts right above her midriff, Paige’s toned abs playing peek-a-boo behind it. She lets her eyes roam over Paige’s exposed arms, trying to ignore memories of how they used to go taut under her touch, down to the blonde’s bare fingers and she feels her heart constrict. No rings. It feels wrong. But then again, nothing has felt right for three months. 

“Azzi,” Aaliyah hisses and Azzi snaps out of her thoughts, realizing she’d been asked a question. 

“Sorry,” she laughs nervously, moving a strand of her hair out of her face; Paige’s eyes intently following the movement, “what was the question.”

Lexie smiles, “I was just asking about your thoughts on Paige’s amazing rookie year so far?”

“Oh um-” Azzi hesitates, shivers inching up her spine as she feels Paige drinking in the sight of the her body like she's a woman parched, “I’m just-” their eyes lock with each other’s and everything else seems to vanish until it feels like it’s just the two of them floating in between remnants of what they used to be, “I’m just really proud of her. I always knew she’d be amazing. She’s just doing what she always does. Being the best player she can be. So yeah I’m just- I’m just really proud of her.”

And Azzi doesn’t know how they got to this point where Paige seems almost shocked that Azzi could be proud of her, to this point where there’s droplets threatening to spill over both of their water lines and they no longer have the right to wipe each other’s tears away. 

“Aww,” Lexie coos, oblivious to the tension, “well on that sweet note, off y’all go and we’ll see y’all later.”

The walk into the party is kept alive with Aaliyah’s attempt at keeping a conversation going. While Paige tries to at least entertain some of, Azzi finds herself completely zoning out until they finally make their way inside into the cacophony of music and laughter. 

“Y’all wanna get-” Aaliyah begins.

“I see Jewell and Téa,” Paige cuts her off immediately, her legs already moving in a rush, “I’ll see y’all later.”

She gives Aaliyah a tentative grin but barely looks at Azzi as she practically trips over her pant-sleeves trying to get away. It feels like something’s biting against her skin, sharp teeth indenting you did this to yourself as Azzi watches Paige walk away. She watches as the tension slowly leaves the blonde’s muscles as she’s pulled into a hug by Jewell and then by Téa. The fake smile that she’d politely kept on her face the last couple of minutes for the sake of the cameras and reporters is replaced by something far more genuine. Azzi watches as Paige is absorbed into the warmth of the growing crowd, embraced by a league that adores her, and she feels the ice cold pinch of she belongs somewhere without you now start to freeze her own heart. 

***

Azzi’s doing fine. She’s gotten through the night with Aaliyah by her side, making small talk with a bunch of different players and she’s managed to keep a friendly smile the whole time. She’d even danced for a little bit, letting loose with some of the other college basketball players that had made the trip to Indianapolis. Sure, she’d occasionally been distracted by her eyes flickering over to the bar and finding a new pretty influencer batting their fake eyelashes at Paige but really she’s doing fine. Her head’s a little dizzy and maybe the third shot of tequila, influenced by a one leggy brunette that had gotten a little too handsy, wasn’t her brightest decision of the night but really, Azzi’s doing fine. 

Until she’s not. 

And it’s Paige's fault. She had to know that it would be Azzi’s last straw. She had to know that Azzi could live with watching a thousand girls flirt with Paige as long as the blonde in question stood rigidly by the bar doing nothing but smiling politely at them. She had to know that Azzi, after having spent most of their college life watching girls fawn over her girlfriend, could deal with the flirty hands that lingered just a little too long on Paige’s bicep. But it’s when Paige leans into this one girl -whose dark curls and tanned caramel skin are just a little too reminiscent of her own- when Paige’s lips graze just a little to close this one girl’s ear, that Azzi realizes she’s decidedly not fine. 

“I need some air,” she manages to bite out, ignoring Aaliyah’s concerned look as she marches out the back door, heading towards the deck. 

Azzi buries her face in her hands as she leans back against the brick wall. She knows she’s being unfair; knows she has absolutely no right to feel this way but something burns within her anyways and the light breeze does nothing to cool it down. 

“I’m not cheating on you,” a harsh voice interrupts her pity party and Azzi sucks in a sharp breath, “We’re not together and I can flirt or kiss or fuck-” she flinches, “anyone if I want to.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” Paige’s voice is laced with accusation, “because the way you just stormed out says otherwise.”

Azzi continues to keep her head in her palms, refusing to look at the blonde, “it’s hot and stuffy in there. I just needed some fresh air.”

“Don’t you ever get tired of lying,” Paige spits out. 

“Well what do you want me to say instead?” Azzi finally looks up, her even cadence in stark contrast to Paige’s fiery tone, “I know we’re not together-”

“Because that’s what you wanted-”

“I know,” Azzi yells, and then quieter, “I know. I know I- I know I did this. But that- that doesn’t make it any easier to see you with someone else,” she swallows, “doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.”

Paige scoffs, rubbing her face as she begins to pace, “you miss me? I was at Mohegan when y’all had summer camp. The whole team showed up to the game except for you and you want me to believe that you miss me?”

“I didn’t think you’d want me there,” Azzi confesses in a whisper, “you were so mad at me after-after everything- and I just- I didn’t want to ruin coming back to Connecticut for you.”

“For me,” Paige lets out a laugh devoid of any emotion, “god Azzi there you go again with this fake ‘selfless’ bullshit.”

A thousand and one retorts die on the tip of Azzi’s tongue as she shakes her head and pushes herself off the wall. She can smell the alcohol on Paige, can tell the blonde is itching for an argument but all she feels is pure exhaustion. 

 “I don’t wanna fight Paige. I’m tired and I just-” she bites her lip, fighting the urge to caress Paige’s cheek, “believe it or don’t but- I really do miss you.”

Sparks of electricity dance their way through Azzi’s veins when Paige curls a hand around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks from going inside. And suddenly she doesn’t feel so cold anymore. 

“Dance with me,” Paige whispers. 

“What?” 

Paige shrugs, tugging on Azzi’s hand to pull her closer, “you said you don’t wanna fight and I- I don’t want you to go,” the confession hangs between them as Paige’s hands fall to Azzi’s waist, “so- let’s just- let’s pretend.”

“What are we pretending?” Azzi asks quietly and despite the warnings ringing in her head, she wraps her arms around Paige’s neck. It feels like coming home. 

“We’re pretending that we’re okay,” Paige says softly, holding Azzi’s hips as she begins to sway them gently, “we’re pretending that three months ago you said yes.”

“Paige-”

“Close your eyes Azzi,” the blond waves her hand gently across Azzi’s face, willing both of their eyelids to flutter shut, “we’re pretending that we’re not here- we’re in Minnesota or DC or I don’t know just- anywhere. And our families are here, laughing and talking and some sappy romantic song is playing. It's the best day of our lives and we’re both- we're both dressed in white-”

“Paige,” Azzi lets out a sob, as she begins to understand the picture Paige is painting for them; a picture drawn on a canvas that Azzi had torn up before any color could touch it

“Sshhhh just- let me have this okay,” Paige’s voice trembles as she leans her forehead against Azzi’s, “if I can’t have it for real, please just let me pretend.”

If they were both just a little bit more sober, maybe Azzi would fight Paige’s tightening grip. If they were both just a little bit more sober, maybe Paige would let go. Instead Azzi lets Paige play pretend, lets them keep their bodies pressed against each other, moving from side to side in rhythm with the wind. 

It isn’t until she hears footsteps approaching them that Azzi hurriedly moves away first and she can see the betrayal of if only you’d just let me hold you in front of the world written all over Paige’s face. They’re both quick to swap their tears for smiles that don’t reach their eyes as they turn to face the intruders. And Azzi wonders if Paige wishes she’d drank a little bit more too. Because maybe if they were both just a little more drunk, then tomorrow they wouldn’t have to remember just how right it had felt to play pretend tonight. 

April 2033 

“You look so pretty Mama,” Stephie gushes from where she’s perched on the bed as she watches Azzi put the finishing touches to her makeup

“Thanks baby,” Azzi smiles, blowing a kiss in the mirror. 

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie flips the running facetime call, skipping over to her mother with the phone in her hand, “doesn’t Mama look beautiful?”

Sixteen years later, and maybe it’s because of all the time they’d missed in between, but Azzi can’t help the bout of shyness that flushes across her features when Stephie places the phone, Paige’s face illuminated all over it, against the mirror so the blonde can get a proper look at Azzi’s outfit.

“You look-” Paige clears her throat, eyes dilated as they rake over Azzi’s whole body, “you look phenomenal.”

“Big word Bueckers,” Azzi teases, trying to disguise her blush, “did you just learn it?”

Paige rolls her eyes, “can’t even give you a compliment without an insult Fudd.”

“You guys argue too much,” Stephie says exasperatedly, shaking her head at the two adults who laugh. The younger girl sometimes seems far wise beyond her age. 

“We’re not arguing Stephie, we’re just-” Azzi struggles to think of a word. 

“Foreplaying,” Paige mutters under her breath and Azzi immediately glares at her. 

“Paige!”

Stephie scrunches up her nose at the screen, “what does that mean?”

“Nothing,” Azzi says shrilly, “Miss Buecks is just making up words.”

“Why would Miss Buecks do that?” Stephie asks, looking back and forth between her mother and the screen. 

“Why does Miss Buecks do anything,” Azzi babbles, as she begins to usher Stephie out of her room, “go grab your things Stephie-bean. Mama’s almost ready to drop you off at Nana and Pop’s house.”

Stephie pouts, “I wanna go to the party with you and Miss Buecks. It’s no fair you both get to go and I don’t,” she picks up the phone, looking at Paige with wide guilt-tripping eyes, “don’t you love me Miss Buecks?”

Azzi has to hand it to her daughter. She’s a smart one to choose Paige as the victim of her emotional blackmail, knowing her wiles had long stopped working on her mother. 

“You know I’d take you with me if I could Stephie,” Paige says, “but I’ll make it up to you tomorrow I swear.”

Stephie smiles and Azzi shakes her head at how quickly the five-year old’s plan had worked, “you’ll take me to the park and then we’ll get fries and then get ice cream?”

“That’s a lot of junk food Steph-”

“Ssshh Mama,” Stephie chides, “this is between me and Miss Buecks.”

“The park, then fries, then ice cream it is,” Paige concedes and Azzi rolls her eyes. 

Stephie grins brightly, puckering her lips to kiss Paige through the phone and eliciting a laugh from the older woman when she cheers, “you’re the best-est-est Miss Buecks. See you in a little bit. Don’t hang up without saying goodnight.”

“I promise I won’t,” Paige calls out after the little girl as Stepehie hands the phone back to Azzi and starts skipping towards her room. 

Azzi gives the blonde a look, “we have got to have a conversation about you learning to say no to her.”

Paige shrugs unhelpfully, “I don’t want to learn how to say no to her.”

“You’re a lost cause,” Azzi remarks, hands on hips, “and foreplay? Seriously? Us bickering is not foreplay.”

“Well it could be if you’d just let me fuck you after,” Paige grumbles and Azzi’s mouth falls open at the bluntness of it. 

“You say the most romantic things to me Paige Bueckers.”

They’re both quiet for a second as Azzi moves around her room, collecting her wallet and keys and to put into her purse. 

“You know there’s still time for me to come pick you up,” Paige says finally.

“Paige,” Azzi sighs, not wanting a rerun of the same argument they’ve been having for the last week. She knows it’s a touchy subject for Paige; that it veers a little too close to insecurities that stem from their past but she’s not quite ready to take this step yet. There isn’t quite any rhyme or reason to her logic except well, she’s haunted by memories of the last time they’d let the personal mix with the professional. Her phone still holds invitations to countless team reunions that she’d actively avoided and a group chat that she’s long muted. Azzi hasn’t stepped foot in the state of Connecticut since she’d entered the draft; she refuses to lose California too. 

“Teammates can carpool,” Paige explains vehemently, “it’s easily explainable.’

“I know-”

“Is this about Clémence?” bitterness tinges the edge of Paige’s voice as she chews her bottom lip. And there it is, the other subject they’d been tip-toeing around since it had been brought up at breakfast a week ago. Paige and Azzi are both excellent at avoiding talking about the harder topics but they’ve never quite managed to let anything go forever. 

“Why would this be about Clémence?” 

Paige narrows her eyes, sitting up from where she’d previously been lounging against her pillow, “maybe you don’t want her to see us together? Maybe you’re trying to spare her feelings I don’t know.”

“Paige-”

“You know what it’s fine,” Paige huffs, “I’ll see you at the bar Azzi.”

She hangs up before Azzi can say anything and the brunette lets out a litany of curses under her breath, annoyed with Paige’s ability to go from A to Z by skipping everything in between. There’s a part of her that knows Paige deserves an explanation about Clémence, a chance to have her lingering doubts confirmed or denied, but amidst the egoistic thoughts of well she married someone else and the self preservationist urge to prevent a potential fight, she hadn’t been brave enough to approach the topic just quite yet. Azzi’s about to step out of the room, when her phone pings with a facetime call from Paige again. 

“Are you calling to apologize for hanging up?” Azzi asks with a frown. 

“No,” Paige replies stubbornly, “I called because I hung up without saying goodnight to Stephie and just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I’m gonna miss saying goodnight to her.”

Something wonderful and warm blooms in Azzi’s chest as she silently walks over to Stephie’s room. This is a new chapter in Paige’s storybook that she’s slowly beginning to read; one scribbled with the blonde’s devotion to Azzi’s baby girl. Azzi still has every other chapter memorized; had thought nothing could be more beautiful than the words within the one that had been dedicated to her. But she’d been wrong. Because every day that she watches Paige and Stephie fall more and more in love with each other, she finds herself falling in love with how much they love each other. 

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals, practically snatching the phone from her mother’s hand as she goofily grins at the screen, “you didn’t hang up.”

“I promised I wouldn’t,” Paige says, the hardness that had existed in her voice while talking to Azzi, dissolving into adulation, “you be good for Nana and Pops okay?”

“I’m always good,” Stephie says matter-of-factly, “can you come over really, really, early tomorrow?”

Paige laughs, “I’ll be there as soon as I wake up.”

“Good,” Stephie claps contentedly as she grabs Azzi’s hand to start walking towards the car, “good night Miss Buecks.”

“Good night Stephie-bean,” Paige echoes, blowing a kiss through the screen. 

“Paige,” Azzi says urgently, trying to stop the older woman from hanging up, “can you just hold on a second while I buckle Stephie in.”

“Az-”

“Please.”

“Fine,” Paige says, averting Azzi’s gaze as she sulks. 

Azzi lifts Stephie onto the car seat, fastening her seatbelt and pressing a kiss to her daughter’s cheek, before she closes the car door and uses it as a stabilizing structure to lean on as she pulls her phone back in front of her. 

“Hey,” she whispers. 

“Hi,” Paige says back begrudgingly, “you wanted to say something?”

“I-” Azzi swallows, “don’t go the bar-”

“Oh fantastic,” Paige cuts her off, her voice furious as she glares daggers at Azzi through the phone, “not only do you not want to go to the bar together, you don’t want me to go at all. Fine. Okay. Whatever. I won’t go. You have the time of your life with fucking Clementine or whatever-”

“Yet,” Azzi says loudly, trying to speak over Paige’s angry rant, “don’t go to the bar yet.”

“What?” 

Azzi licks her lips, “don’t go yet. I’m gonna drop Stephie off at my parents-”

“What does that have to-”

“Will you just let me fucking finish?” Azzi almost bangs her fist on the car in frustration and she’s glad to see that it makes Paige look just a little bit sheepish, “as I was saying. I’m gonna drop Stephie off at my parents and uh- your house- it’s um- it’s on the way to the bar so I thought,” she shrugs with fake nonchalance, the edge of her mouth turning upwards, “I thought maybe- maybe I could pick you up on the way.”

Paige stares blankly at the screen, eyes blinking as Azzi’s words slowly register, “you- you wanna go to the bar together?”

“I didn’t say that,” Azzi teases, eyes twinkling as she basks in the thrill of eliciting that Azzi smile from Paige’s lips, “teammates carpool right?”

“Teammates definitely carpool.”

April 2029 

“You invited Clémence to our movie night?” Jana asks in a whisper, as she walks into the kitchen where Azzi’s making popcorn. Her Saturday nights have gotten rather boring since she’s had Stephie, consisting of alternating between movie nights with Jana and dinner with her parents. It wasn’t the most thrilling of times but she looked forward to them all week, excited to not have to spend a night in solitude.

“She asked what I was doing tonight and I told her we were having a movie night and then she asked if she could join and well I couldn’t just say no,” Azzi explains, sticking the bag into the microwave. 

Jana cocks an eyebrow, “do you want me to leave?”

“Why would I want you to leave?” Azzi asks, crinkling her nose as she juts out an ear just in case the baby monitor goes off. 

“C’mon Az,” Jana says pointedly, leaning on her elbows against the kitchen counter, “you’re telling me there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”

Azzi grimaces uneasily, not quite wanting to answer the question, “nothing that would require you to leave.”

“If that’s the way you want to play it,” Jana relents, grabbing a soda from the fridge on her way back to the living room, before she pauses in the doorway to look back at Azzi, “but I know what it looks like when somebody’s in love with you. And that girl out there,” she nods her head towards where Clémence is daintily sitting on the couch, “she’s definitely getting there.”

Jana’s a rather observant person but Azzi knows that she’s at least a little bit wrong this time. Because Clémence might be a little bit in love with -even if that’s not a fact Azzi particularly wants to acknowledge- but it's impossible for her to look at Azzi the way Jana remembers someone else looking at her. That had been something completely different; a gaze that saw all the little chinks in her armor, all the imperfections carved against her walls and loved her inspite of them, maybe even because of them. Clémence might love her, but Azzi doesn’t think anyone can be in love with her the way the person she’d been hopelessly in love with, had. 

When she walks back into the living room with the popcorn in hand, still plagued by her younger teammate’s words, Azzi’s deliberate to sit on the couch next to Jana instead of the open space next to the francophone. The flash of hurt in Clémence’s eye causes guilt to trickle down her spine but Azzi thinks a flash is better than the tsunami of pain she could cause if she doesn’t start to ease herself out of this right now. There’s a selfish part of her that doesn’t want to, that’s going to miss having somebody who hangs onto her every word. Azzi likes this feeling of being wanted, even if it’s not by the person she wants. But that person isn’t hers to want anymore and she won’t torture Clémence by barricading her in the same jail that has held Azzi’s soul captive for the last four years. 

They’re about half way through the movie, awkward tension eased by Jana’s incessant chatter, when Azzi’s phone buzzes. Already confused at the timing of the call, she’s even more perplexed to see Ice’s name flashing on the screen. 

“Oooh Iceyyy,” Jana’s eyes light up when she catches a glimpse of the CallerID, “put her on speaker. Ice is one of our UConn teammates,” she explains, turning to Clémence who nods in recognition, “she probably did something dumb as fuck and need Azzi’s advice.”

“Don’t be mean,” Azzi scolds with a grin, knowing that Jana’s probably right as she picks up the call, “hello-”

“I hate you,” Azzi freezes at the sound of the familiar voice, laced with unfamiliar malice. Next to her Jana stiffens immediately while Clémence observes the scene in front of her with a guarded frown. 

“Paige who the fuck are you calling?” Ice’s voice is muffled in the background, “oh shit, Paige give me back my phone.”

“No. She needs to hear this,” Paige grits out, her pitch wavering with the effects of alcohol, “she needs to hear how much I fucking hate her. Azzi do you hear me? I can hear you breathing. I know you’re there. Did you hear what I said?”

“Paige,” Ice hisses again. 

Azzi swallows the lump in her throat, fingers digging into her bare thighs as she grips her phone so hard, she half-expects it to break into pieces in a reflection of her heart, “I heard you Paige.”

“Good. Because I do. I really fucking hate you,” Paige repeats again and Azzi flinches, “you ruined me Azzi. And now you’re ruining my marriage. My wife is perfect. She loves me. She loves being seen with me. She loves being known as my wife. Everything I ever wanted from you, she’s willing to give me. But she saw that damn hug at the Olympics and she- she’s upset with me. She thinks- she thinks I’m not over you.”

“Az maybe you should-” Jana says softly but Azzi immediately raises a hand to stop her. Maybe she’s a masochist but she can hear the hurt laced underneath the anger in Paige's voice. And if what Paige needs to get rid of her pain is a target to aim all her arrows at, then Azzi’s willing to sacrifice her heart, or at least what little is still left of it. 

“And the worst thing about it,” Paige’s voice breaks, “is that she's probably right. I have the perfect fucking woman at home and I can’t seem to get over the one who broke my heart and never looked back. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“Paige,” Ice pleads again and Azzi can hear her former teammate trying her best to wrangle the phone out of Paige’s firm grasp. 

“I’m not done yet Ice. I need to talk to her and I need to talk to her now because if I don’t, I’ll never get the courage to say any of this again,” Paige is sobbing now, and her broken whimpers pierce Azzi’s heart deeper than any words could,  “why couldn’t you just have said yes Az? I know- I know your reasons but why- why couldn’t you have just loved me enough to look past them? How do you do it Azzi? How do you live without me because it’s been four years and I- I still don’t think I know how to live without you and I hate you, I hate you because you do.”

No, Azzi thinks, I really don’t. But she doesn’t say anything, rapidly blinking back tears as she avoids both Jana’s concerned look and Clémence’s more thoughtful gaze. 

“I wish I could just feel nothing towards you Azzi,” Paige confesses, heaving as she struggles to breathe through her tears, “I don’t want to hate you. I don’t want to miss you and I really- I really, really don’t want to love you. Please just make it stop. I’m so tired of this Azzi. I’m so tired of hurting. How do I make it go away? Please tell me how I make it go away? How did you make it go away?”

“I didn’t,” Azzi whispers, so soft she’s not sure Paige heard it; she’s not sure if she wants Paige to have heard it. It’s the kind of pain, she thinks, she’s destined to feel forever. It’s weaved itself into every crevice of body and now it exists as just another innate part of her. Paige thinks Azzi’s learned to live without her but really all Azzi’s learned is how to live with these permanent scars of i think i’ll miss you forever. 

“That’s enough Paige,” Ice’s voice is clearer now, having finally snatched the phone out of her teammate’s grip, “Azzi-” she begins apologetically, “she’s just drunk. She didn’t mean-”

“She did,” Azzi clears her throat, sinking into the way Jana's arms wrap around her, “she’s um- she’s gonna be really hungover in the morning. Make sure she- make sure you give her water but don’t- don’t give her coffee. She’ll want it but it’ll only make it worse because she uh- she- when she drinks too much, her stomach hurts and the caffeine- it just- it makes it worse so- don’t let her drink coffee tomorrow morning okay? And make sure- make sure she eats something before she takes painkillers. And Ice?’

“Yeah Azzi.”

“If she doesn’t remember any of this tomorrow morning, please don’t remind her.”

***

April 2033

The bar is buzzing with noise by the time Paige and Azzi finally arrive. It’s an exclusive enough place that they won’t be too bothered by fans asking for pictures and autographs but the size of the crowd still puts Azzi a little bit on edge. She can’t help the small smile that flitters across her face when she feels Paige’s hand resting on her lower back as the blonde guides the two of them through the crowd in search of their teammates. For the last eight years, Azzi has been her own protector and she’s learned to guard herself but it’s nice -it feels right- to have someone else ready to be her shield too. 

“You know Bueckers,” Joyce says as the two of them finally approach the table that had been reserved for the Valkyries, “some might say that one should be on time when meeting their new teammates. Just a thought.”

“And some might say Edwards that being fashionably late is being on time,” Paige quips back. 

Joyce grins, “alright time for introductions.”

“I’m pretty sure I know-”

“Shut up,” Joyce reprimands, throwing an arm around Paige’s shoulders, “let me introduce these brand new people to you.”

“They’re not-”

“Sssshhh. Let me have my fun. We’ll start over here with Westbeld and Booker. You might know them, their teams kicked your ass during the 23-24 season,” Joyce says with a smirk. 

“Oh I do remember that,” Paige says thoughtfully, eyes twinkling with mirth, “what happened the season after?”

“Don’t be cocky Bueckers. It’s unbecoming,” Madison chides as she rises from the table to give Paige a hug. 

“Yeah I try not to remember that Elite Eight game thanks,” Laila says, making a disgusted face. 

Joyce glares at her, “did I introduce you yet Miss Phelia?”

Laila raises her hands in surrender as Joyce continues to give Paige a tour of the Valkyrie team. Azzi had known that Paige would fit in well with her teammate -really the blonde had the uncanny ability to fit in anywhere- but seeing it realized in front of her, it seems even clearer. Paige feels like the last mosaic piece, slotting in right where she belongs. 

“Those two over there are our babies,” Joyce points to Haylen and Jayla, “they’re like five years old but we love them anyways.”

“I’m almost 25,” Haylen protests. 

“See,” Joyce remarks, “literally children. And that one,” she points to Jana who beams at Paige, “well you already know her even if you sometimes wish you didn’t probably-”

“Hey!”

“Oh shush Jana,” Joyce says airily, “and I supposed there’s no point in introducing Azzi to you since y’all came together,” she pauses to look between them, “y’all don’t live that close to each other. Why didn’t you just carpool with Jana? I’m pretty sure she lives closer to you.”

Paige opens and closes her mouth a couple of times as Azzi feels her own cheeks heat up at the innocent enough question, “we um- well it's just- you see- my house is on the way from her parents and she had to drop off Stephie so it just- it just made sense you know? For efficiency’s sake.”

“Oh yeah for efficiency’s sake. They’re both very efficient,” Jana smirks, “makes a lot of sense.”

Joyce gives all three of them a weird look, “y’all Huskies are strange. It was just a question but anyways,” she grins as she finally steers Paige towards the blonde in the corner and Azzi stiffens at the way Paige’s body immediately tenses, “a couple of our teammates aren’t here but we do have a former teammate. Paige meet Clémence.”

“We’ve met,” Paige says, attempting to school her features to resemble anything but the discomfort she’s feeling within, “during the Olympics that is. We’ve beat France a couple of times.”

It’s a purposeful word choice, beat instead of played and Azzi's fingers fidget with the hem of her top as she tries to avoid looking at either of the two women. 

“Yes. It is good to see you again,” Clémence says tersely, her French accent stronger than the last time Azzi had spoken to her. She shakes Paige’s hand rather formally before her eyes focus on Azzi and she determinedly walks towards the brunette, “and it is really good to see you Azzi. I have missed you.”

“I-” Azzi stutters at the French woman pulls her into a hug; over her shoulder she can practically see steam coming out of Paige’s ears as she hyper focuses on how Clémence makes it a point rub her thumb down Azzi’s back, “it’s um- it’s good to see you too.”

She pulls away and she can feel the disappointment reverberating from Clémence’s body as Azzi practically flings herself on the chair next to Jana, wondering what she’d done to deserve this moment as a punishment for her sins. 

“Save me,” she pleads as Clémence and Paige sit as far away from each other as possible, occasionally shooting glares when they think the other isn’t looking. 

“Save you from having two hot women fighting over you?” the center teases, “you truly have such first world problems Azzi Fudd.”

“They’re not fighting over me-”

“Azzi you will have your usual rum and coke no?” Clémence asks and Azzi looks over to where the francophone is intently staring at her, “I will go-”

“Oh there’s no need,” Paige says immediately, “you sit Clémence. You already have a drink. I was gonna go get one for myself and I’ll get Azzi’s too. Besides, Azzi's more of a fruity drink girl. Az I’ll get you a piña colada-”

Clémence narrows her eyes, “maybe she liked that when she was in college but Azzi likes something different now.”

“She might like something different now,” Paige counters, standing up aggressively so she towers over the table, “but she’s always gonna love a piña colada right Azzi?”

All eyes turn to look at Azzi who wants nothing more than to cower under the table- or hit Jana who seems to find this very unamusinging situation rather entertaining, “I um-” she swallows, “I think tonight calls for something stronger. Round of shots for the table? On me?”

It placates the situation for a while as the rest of the team cheers on the idea, beckoning over one of the bartenders to orders a round of tequila shots for the table. For a moment, Azzi tricks herself into thinking maybe that’ll be the end of ridiculous situations for the night as the team downs shots to Jana yelling “to the Valkyries” but she should have known it was wishful thinking.

Half the team ends up on the dance floor, swaying to the mixed rhythm of the music and the newly minted alcohol coursing through their bloodstreams. Azzi watches with a smile as despite her protests, Joyce manages to drag Paige onto the dance floor with her, engaging her in some eccentric dance moves as they try to outdo each other on who can look the silliest. And as the rest of the girls cheer the blonde on, it feels like Paige is chiseling out a place for herself in another part of Azzi’s world. 

“She is easy to love,” Clémence’s hot breath fans Azzi’s ear as the francophone takes Jana’s empty seat next to the brunette. 

“Clém-” Azzi sighs. 

“She fits in well with the team,” Clémence continues, something wistful in her voice, “I have seen her play. She will fit in well on the court with you guys as well. She will fit in well next to you.”

“That’s the hope,” Azzi says softly as she tilts her head to look at the other woman, “you fit in well too. I mean it Clém. We’ll miss you at GSV.”

Clémence smiles bitterly, “I would have liked to stay but they needed the cap space so they could sign her. She- she’s quite expensive. I mean considering she is casually wearing swarovski crystals on her neck in a bar on a random Saturday night, I am not surprised.”

The two of them laugh despite the gravity that looms heavily over them. Azzi and Clémence haven’t been anything in a long time but she’d never quite shut the possibility of a potential future done. She can hear the lock ready to click now. It’s bittersweet doing the right thing but as Paige glances over from the dancefloor, eyes darting cautiously between the two of them, Azzi knows that she doesn’t want to keep any other doors open. Not when the one with Paige’s name etched on the door handle, leads to home. 

“One last dance?” Clémence asks softly, holding out her hand. 

Azzi hesitates, knowing that it would irritate Paige but she thinks she probably owes Clémence this and so she smiles and takes the francophone’s outstretched hand as they join their other teammates. It’s nothing beyond friendly and they both keep their hands to themselves as they sway to the music, but Azzi can feel the annoyance radiating off of Paige from across the dancefloor. She would never admit it, perhaps it’s a little toxic of her, but there’s a certain thrill to making Paige jealous. There’s something about the way the blonde’s blue eyes flare with ice cold envy, the way her jaw hardens as she grinds her teeth. The way she looks at Azzi like if she had her way she’d drag the brunette out of the bar and mark her with a possessive you’re mine you’re mine youre mine. It makes Azzi clench her thighs together as she tries to focus on Clémence. 

“I understand now,” the francophone says thoughtfully as Azzi’s peers up at her in confusion, “when you told me that you could not be with me. I get it.”

“I don’t-”

“You are here with me but you aren’t actually. You will always be with her,” Clémence tilts her head towards Paige, “you always have been. I understand now,” she says again simply before her face hardens, “even after all those words she said to you on the phone that night.”

Azzi’s stomach curls at the reminder. She knows exactly what night Clémence is referring to. Sometimes when she closes her eyes, it’s those words, coated in anger and malice, that shower around her like acid rain, seeping into her skin and infecting her bloodstream.

“I told you, you deserved better,” Clémence says and Azzi gulps, “but you said- you said you deserved worse. I hope you don’t believe that anymore Azzi. Just because you hurt her doesn’t mean you need to let her hurt you too.”

“I-” Azzi’s cut off by a hard body ramming into her own and she feels herself going stumbling back into the unwanted arms of a random man, “I’m sorry,” she says tersely, struggling to get out his grip. 

“No worries pretty girl,” he says toothily, the heavy stench of alcohol in his breath making Azzi feel nauseous, “but now that you’re here, how about I buy you a drink.”

“No thank you,” Azzi says sternly, trying to push the man away but he’s relentless. 

“Aw c’mon don’t be like that sweetheart,” the term of endearment sounds like an insult falling from his lips and Azzi loses her patience, stomping her heel into the man’s foot to finally free herself from his grip and he yelps in surprise.

“I said no thank you.”

“What the fuck,” the man spits out, standing up as Azzi takes a step back. He’s got some muscle and although, despite his bravado, she knows she’s strong enough to take him, she’d rather not create a scene. Her plan is to walk away. Paige seems to have other ideas, suddenly materializing in between Azzi and the man, a furious look on her face as she squares him up. 

“Do we have a problem?” the blonde asks menacingly. 

“Nothing other than your little friend here being a fucking bitch.”

Paige’s eyes darken as she takes a threatening step towards him, prevented from going further only by the way Azzi immediately laces a hand around her wrist, “what the fuck did you call her?”

“I called her a-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Azzi cuts in, stepping in between a glaring Paige and a man who’s clearly underestimating her strength, “let it go Paige.”

“Yeah,” the man mocks, “let it go Paige.”

“You fucking-” Paige tries to lunge at him but Azzi’s quick to shove her back gently. 

“Don’t cause a scene,” she warns. 

“Azzi-”

“Paige please.”

“Holy shit,” the man wolf-whistles, “y’all play for the Valks. You’re Azzi Fudd. I know you.”

“Good for you,” Azzi spits out at him before turning her attention back to Paige, who looks like she could kill the man if given the chance, “c’mon let's go back to our tab-”

“It’s funny you’re acting like such a fucking prude when you have a bastard chi-”

An unmistakable crunch rings out through the bar as the man goes flying backwards. Azzi’s knuckles are bleeding as her breath comes out in ragged huffs. She hadn’t wanted to cause a scene; could have walked away from a man being a drunken idiot, could have walked away from being called a bitch or hell, even something worse. But the man had attacked the one part of her that she’d always be ready to go to war for. He’d brought up Stephie and she’d seen red. Her fist had moved of it's own accord.

Paige doesn’t say anything and Azzi can feel the anger still vibrating from the older woman’s body as she roughly grabs Azzi’s unhurt hand.

“Let’s go,” the blonde’s voice is eerily low, “we’re going home.”

***

It’s a subconscious choice to let Paige drive Azzi’s car even though they’ve both sobered up considerably, not that one shot had done much in the first place. It’s a subconscious choice that Azzi reaches over to lace her fingers through Paige’s free hand, resting it on her lap, as the blonde use her other hand to grip the steering wheel. It’s a subconscious choice that they end up driving to Azzi’s house in complete silence. She’s not sure who’s mad at who, if they’re even mad at each other or that man or just the world but she can feel the fury suffocating the air. 

“Where’s your first-aid kit?” Paige says gruffly as Azzi unlocks the door. 

“Bathroom,” Azzi says quietly and Paige is off towards it before the word has even fully left the brunette’s mouth. Azzi scrambles after her, pausing in the doorway as Paige rummages through drawers, knowing better than to interrupt to help when Paige looks livid like this.

“Sit,” Paige points to the sink once she’s finally found the sanitizer and gauze to clean up dried up blood staining Azzi’s knuckles. 

“I can do it my-”

Paige glares at her, “just sit on the fucking sink Azzi.”

Putting away her own irritation at being told what to do, Azzi lifts herself onto the flat surface of the sink, opening her legs slightly so that Paige can stand between them. Despite still quivering with barely concealed rage, Paige’s touch is gentle as she dabs at the remnants of red liquid on Azzi’s hand. 

“You should’ve just let me punch him when I wanted to,” she says finally. 

“So you could be the one bleeding?” Azzi raises an eyebrow. 

“No because he would’ve never gotten the courage to say shit about Stephie if you’d just let me kill him when he called you a bitch,” Paige bites out venomously. 

“And let you go to jail? I couldn’t do that to Stephie,” Azzi tries to lighten the tension in the room, “she’d miss you too much. 

“This isn’t funny, Azzi,” Paige seethes as she begins to wrap the white gauze around the wound. 

“I know,” the younger woman says, trailing her other hand down Paige’s arms trying to soothe her anger, “but it’s fine-”

“It’s not fucking fine,” Paige yells. 

“Baby-” the word slips out from Azzi’s lips before she can catch it. She hasn’t used it for someone other than Stephie in so long that it feels foreign on her lips and yet, it fits exactly right. 

“Did you call Clémence that too?” and there it is, the real reason behind the volcano erupting as Paige decidedly looks away from Azzi. 

Azzi narrows her eyes, “I don’t know Paige. Did you call Olivia that?”

“That’s different,” Paige grits out, “Olivia was my wife.”

Azzi flinches at the word; hates that somebody else had ever had the honor of being called that even if she knows it’s unfair of her to feel that way when she’s the one that had turned it down first. 

“Exactly,” she says slowly, “you married someone else-” she holds up a hand when Paige protests, “I know. I know I said no but you married someone else Paige. So you don’t get to be mad at me for having something with someone else too.”

Paige is quiet for a moment and Azzi sees the exact moment the fight leaves her body as she lets out a sigh, leaning her head against Azzi’s shoulder. 

“You’re right,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s neck, hands moving to rest against the brunette’s thighs. 

Azzi runs her hand through Paige’s hair, brushing it in tandem with the harmony of her breathing, “we can’t keep throwing the past in each other’s face, Paige.”

“I know,” Paige breath tickles against Azzi’s skin and she shivers in spite of the tense moment,“I just-” the blonde lifts her head to look at Azzi, “I need to know who Clémence was to you. You- you know what Olivia was to me and I- I just need to know the same about Clémence.”

“She-” Azzi hesitates, “we hooked up a couple of times,” she squeezes Paige’s hand when the blonde flinches, “but then she- she wanted more but I couldn’t- I couldn’t do that. Partly because I didn’t- I didn’t feel the same- don’t look so smug,” Azzi chides when a small grin forms on Paige’s face, “and partly because we were on the same team. I didn’t want to complicate things, not like last time. Feel like I should probably have a rule not to date teammates.”

“Right.”

Azzi watches the cogs turning in Paige’s brain and she reaches out a hand to ease the creases forming on her forehead, “what are you thinking Bueckers?”

“I just-” Paige bites her lip, “what about me?”

“What about you?”

“I mean we’re gonna be- I mean we are- we’re on the same team too,” Paige says and Azzi can hear the insecurity of will you leave me again weaved through her voice. 

“You don’t get it yet do you,” Azzi whispers, reaching up to cup Paige’s face, “baby you are the exception to all of my rules.”

[allisluv]

Emily prentiss x single mom!reader, Emily introducing her new gf reader and her kid to the team?

meet the family -- e.p

summary: emily introduces you and your daughter, verity, to the team.

pairing: emily prentiss x single mom!reader

word count: 1.1k

content warnings: derek being a lovable menace and interrogating reader but he's just worried for emily! apart from that, i don't think there is anything else but if there is, just lmk! <3

author's note: thinking about turning this into a series so feel free to send in as many scenarios for these two as you'd like! <3

when emily tells you that she wants to introduce you to her friends from work, you're nervous, to say the least. you've heard great things about the bau— not only are they damn good at their job, they also treat each other like family.

you're sure they're lovely people, honest, but part of you wonders just how nice they will be when they find out you have a daughter. you've been going out with emily for the better part of six months, and while she has been nothing but supportive of you being a single mother, that doesn't mean everyone else will be as understanding.

over the last four years, you've faced a lot of backlash about being a single mother. in fact, you had started to give up hope altogether on finding someone new. people do not like to take someone on when they have priorities or "baggage", as one man called it. you were debating taking down your tinder profile when emily messaged you— and boy were you glad she did.

"relax, my love," emily soothes, resting her hand on your thigh as she focuses on the long stretch of road ahead. "it's just dinner. and i promise they don't bite. well, derek might, but he's all talk and i'll kick him in the balls if i have to."

you laugh, wiping your clammy palms down the front of your black blouse. "are you sure i look alright? i feel stupid in this skirt."

before emily can get a word in, verity pipes up from the backseat. "you look pretty, mommy."

you meet her eye in the rear view mirror and smile. her words settle your nerves ever so slightly. "thank you, honey."

"see?" emily quirks a brow. "verity knows her stuff, don't you, v?"

verity is too busy playing with her barbie dolls to give emily a proper answer, but she hums her agreement, which is good enough. emily brings your hand up to her mouth and presses soft kisses to your knuckles, something that she's learnt over the last few months that soothes you.

emily holds your hand, verity holding your other, as you walk into the restaurant. it's buzzing with life, and it's warm, which makes a change to the bitter cold outside.

you hear someone call emily's name, and your heart sinks into a pit in your stomach. as if she can sense your anxiety— and lets be real, she's a profiler, so she more than likely can— she squeezes your hand and leans down to kiss your forehead. "that's jj."

a blonde with bangs pulls emily into a hug as the rest of the team stand to their feet. before you have time to back out of the situation altogether, a woman with orangey-red hair squeals and envelopes you in her arms. "i'm penelope!"

"hi!" you giggle, placing a hand over your chest in an effort to keep your heart from beating so fast. you give her your name and she compliments you on how pretty you are. "thank you," you laugh.

as you go around the table, learning everyone's names-- david and jj and aaron and spencer and the infamous derek-- you feel a tug on your arm. verity's hiding behind your legs and you hoist her onto your hip, not caring who's watching. she winds her chubby arms around your neck, and buries her face into your blouse.

"who've we got here?" spencer smiles, trying to catch verity's eye.

you look to emily for help and she places a reassuring hand on your lower back. "this is my girlfriend, and her daughter, verity."

for a minute no one says anything, and you debate running back out the front door and away from the prying eyes. you swallow the lump in your throat as emily's thumb traces soothing patterns against your lower back.

aaron cracks a tiny smile, something that looks to be a rare occurrence, and puts his hands on his hips. "it's nice to meet you, verity. how old are you?" verity pulls her face away from where it's buried in your blouse for just long enough to hold up four small fingers. "i have a son, jack, who's just a little bit older than you! he's five! maybe next time i could bring him and the two of you could play together? how does that sound?"

verity flails her legs about, a sign that she wants to be let down. you oblige, and she stands by your side, gripping your hand like a vice. "does jack like superheroes?"

aaron grins. "he does indeed."

verity juts her chin out. "then it's a date."

the team erupt into laughter and derek mutters something fondly about how jack will have his work cut out with this one.

emily pulls your chair out and you sit down, offering your girlfriend a smile in return. she sits beside you and verity makes herself comfortable in the chair on your other side. "i couldn't find a babysitter on such short notice, i'm sorry."

spencer dismisses you with a wave of his hand. "don't be. 66% of babysitters are between the ages of 11 to 13 anyway. did you know that?"

you smile. emily had filled you in about spencer’s rambling. while some people found it annoying, you found it endearing. “i didn’t know that."

derek leans across the table, using his elbows to prop himself up. "so..." he says to you. "what are your intentions with emily?" penelope whacks him across the back of the head. "what? it's a simple question!"

your face flushes scarlet. emily takes your hand under the table. "well, my intentions with emily are strictly confidential, if you know what i mean." you bat your lashes and rest your chin in the palm of your hand. you cover verity's ears. "does that answer your question or do you need the nitty gritty details of our sex life, too?"

jj bursts into a fit if giggles, aaron almost chokes on his red wine and derek ducks his head to hide his embarrassed smile.

"she's fiery," david notes. "i can see why you like her, em."

"well, i'm in love with emily," you announce. "and, unfortunately for you guys, i'm in it for the long haul, so you're stuck with me." you catch derek's eye from over the rim of your cocktail glass. "have you got a problem with that?"

derek tongues the inside of his cheek, smiles, and shakes his head. "not at all. i hope you don't mind me being rude, i was just seeing if you could hold your own, that's all. no hard feelings?"

you shake his hand across the table. "no hard feelings."

emily lets go of your hand to fold her arms across her chest. "im glad the air is cleared between the two of you, but if you ever pull a stunt like that again, i will castrate you."

"is that a threat?" derek muses.

"no," emily says, slipping her hand into yours. "It's a promise."

[onlystylesangels]

Silent Struggles

Anon: I might have a request … :) so what if harry found fem!Y/N’s pack of cigarettes and he didn’t know she smoked bc she never mentioned anything and he talks to her bc he’s concerned?/ Anon: H's girl seems to be acting off and he confronts her and it turns out she's been dealing with some depression and anxiety and she's been to scared to let anyone in or... reader seems to be going through something and hasn't told anyone about it and starts smoking cigarettes; dealing with her problems alone.

Warnings!!!: talks about anxiety, talks about depression, smoking, fluff, Harry being a supportive boyfriend, reader feeling insecure

A/N: Hello!!!! I know it's been a very long time since I have posted a new Harry writing. But here it is, lovies! I hope you enjoy this one. !!!***Before you read I want to start by saying that you are loved and you're precious to this world. I love you, yeah, you the lovely person that's reading this. I care about you and there are so many people around you that care for you too. Please if you're going through something, don't fight alone. Please tell someone what you're going through. Please be safe. -A <3

It happened as always. At night you would wake up from a nightmare, open the drawer from your nightstand and rummage for your new pack of cigarettes, the plastic wrapper still intact. You took two cigarettes out and grabbed your lighter. You walk into the balcony and start the fire. You inhale a sharp breath and let out the hollowing contents of nicotine. It felt nice. Feeling the nightly fresh air hit your exposed arms, goosebumps adorning your skin as you puff out smoke from your mouth. It happened as always, as a freshly new night routine. 

The next morning you woke up with the bitter taste of nicotine filling your senses and feeling a bit dizzy when you sat up from bed. You quickly grab your phone and look at the time. It was already 9am and you were positive that you were going to be running late to the local bookstore. 

So, you take a shower and put on clothes that may or may not have matched together to create a decent outfit, but fuck it. You were about to be late so you had to work with what you had. You quickly dashed to the kitchen and prepared a quick breakfast and made sure to message Harry. 

“Hi bubba! I’m heading out to work. I’ll see you later today, okay? Love you.”

“Sounds good, love. I love you too. Make sure to drink enough water!” 

Harry, always the caring type. You loved that about him. Having a person loving you for you and always making sure that you were doing okay was one of the blessings that you took for granted. If only it were that easy to show that same love to yourself.   

“Richie! Did you get a chance to call Davy? His favorite book just came in and he had first dibs on the book” You shout out to your coworker who always seems to be too busy to work as he is sitting at the back corner of the bookstore, scrolling through his phone. Pesky phones, fucking culprits of rotting out your brain.  

“Haven’t gotten a chance, Y/N. Why don’t you call ‘em?” Richie sends you a head nod and immediately looks down at his phone. Fucking twat.

You roll your eyes and walk towards the front desk and call Davy. But before you start pushing down the buttons on the phone you see someone come in.

“Hey Y/N! Has that book come in here yet?” The man of the hour. Davy, the active reader and loyal customer of the Blues Blues Bookstore. 

“Hey there, Davy. I was literally just about to call you. I got that book reserved here for you. Hold on.” 

You walk towards the back of the store and retrieve the book that had a bookmark with his name plastered on it. You walk towards the entrance and hand it to him. He quickly takes the book in his hands and begins turning the pages. 

“I love it! Thank you again, Y/N! Glad I got here as quickly as possible.” 

You turn towards the computer and begin typing away, clearing the book for Davy.

“My pleasure, Davy. Just make sure to always come back. You’re keeping us in business, remember?” You joke, making Davy laugh and giving you an eye roll.

“Yeah, yeah. I recommended some people to come by to the store. Not sure if they found their way in yet.”   

“Haven’t seen any new faces lately. I would ask Richie, but that twat doesn’t do anything here, so I guess no new customers.”

“Hmm, you should bring that up to Daya. I’m sure she’ll fire the guy.”

Firing Richie, tsk, that guy is literally family to Daya. Even if you tell her that Richie doesn’t do anything in the store she’ll find a way to defend him and tell you off. There is no way that you would ever start a conversation regarding firing Richie to Daya; she’ll never believe or listen to you. 

“We’ll see.” Is all you say as Davy puts his new book in his satchel.

“I’ll see you around, Y/N.” Davy says as he starts walking towards the doors. “Oh, and tell that boyfriend of yours hi. I haven’t seen that English man in a while.” 

You smile at the thought of him bringing up Harry. 

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll tell him you said hi. See you Davy.” You wave goodbye to him as he does the same. 

During your break time you try to sneak in some time to smoke a cigarette and make sure that the door you come out from is shut tightly. You feel dumb for hiding your recent cigarette intake from people, but then again, people see you as the nicest and innocent person on earth. Yeah, sure. But you kept thinking about the deadline. Your personal deadline that you set yourself to meet someone at the law college that you have been researching on. 

For a couple of months now you’ve been thinking about applying to a local law college in your city and were afraid to continue the process. You continuously had non-pep talks about how you would be a terrible law student and that you may not make it to getting accepted into the college. This and telling anyone about it was just too much for you to handle. You didn't even tell Harry yet. You knew why you didn’t want to tell anyone; you didn’t want to burden them with your problems. Problems that you knew were affecting you mentally and emotionally. 

= = = 

After the break you couldn’t stop the thoughts running through your mind. The mere thought of reaching out to the law school representatives and going to that mandatory interview to see if you were worth being a candidate for their college was already too much to think about. And so you continue your work in the bookstore. Putting new books up on the shelves and welcoming customers into the bookstore. Parents accompanied with their children as you reach for the candy jar under the front desk to offer to the children. You liked your job at the bookstore, but you felt like you needed a change of scenery, especially after working there for four years. And the thought of leaving this job and trying something new frightened you.

A couple of minutes before you were off. There was a ding heard at the entryway.

“Sorry, we’re closed. You can come by tomorrow at-” You look up from the front desk and notice that it’s Harry. Carrying a bouquet of flowers in his hands. His hair started to grow from the buzz cut he got months ago. Gray trousers and loose fitting t-shirt that was starting to rip at the neckline. You told him to throw that shirt away but he always replied by saying that it was his lucky shirt. Did you believe him? Of course not, but if he claims it is his lucky shirt then it’s his lucky shirt.

“Harry!” You run towards him ignoring the stack of books that were in front of you that needed price tags. 

Harry smiles and hugs you back as he kisses your cheek. “Hi, my love.” You walk back a bit and finally take notice of the bouquet of flowers in his hands. 

“And these?” 

“Oh, I got ‘em for Richie. You know that marvelous coworker of yours,” He lies through his teeth, your eyes rolling at the mention of his name. He notices your change of mood and lifts your chin with his thumb. “Hey, lovie. I’m joking. These are for you. I saw them at the local flower shop and thought that you would like ‘em.” Your lips start curving into a smile and you give him a kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, Harry,” you smell the flowers and softly touch the flower petals, “They’re gorgeous.”

“You’re welcome, my love.” Harry follows you as you go towards the backroom. Retrieving your things and ready to call it a day at the bookstore. 

“Ready?” Harry asks you. You smile in response and immediately grab his hand as he leads you both to the exit. You lock the doors to the bookstore and leave walking hand-in-hand with Harry.

You reach your apartment and unlock the door to your little home. You walk in along with Harry and make your way to the sink and grab a vase under the sink cabinet. Harry watches you as you fill the vase with water and stick the flowers in it; he admires your acts and just leans his weight on the kitchen island and stares at you as if you were this beautiful undiscovered galaxy. 

You catch him staring and you get shy all of a sudden. You get a bit self-conscious, but then that feeling goes away when Harry walks towards you and cups your cheeks. 

“You’re so pretty, Y/N.” You feel your cheeks get hot and you quickly turn your head away from his gaze; not even hiding the smile that you had. Harry chuckles and swiftly turns your head back to his gaze. “Don’t hide from me, love. It’s just me.” Harry teases, the back of his hand smoothly running down your cheek. 

“You make me nervous, Harry.” You confess, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you making me shy.” 

Harry picks you up and walks towards the couch. He keeps you on his lap as you continue hiding away from him. You both have been dating for over a year and so you must’ve at least gotten used to all those times that Harry gets you all flustered, but you haven’t yet. It’s like falling in love with him for the first time. That’s how you feel right now. Your body is so close to his and his arms wrapped around your body as he just holds you. Appreciating your presence; he held you in strong arms as if he was afraid to let you go. And he was.

For the rest of the evening you both order takeout from two different restaurants because you were craving two of your favorite foods. Harry happily ordered from the two restaurants as he left you in an excited mess. Excited that you were finally going to eat those foods that you craved for so long. The food doesn’t take long for it to arrive at the apartment and so you and Harry eat on the couch and watch some movies to pass the time. You both joke around about the characters from the movie that you were both watching and made the night pleasant. 

As the night went along, you were laughing along with Harry and enjoying being in each other’s company. You wished you could be there on the couch all night, but you were starting to yawn and your eyes starting to droop from how sleepy you were. Harry noticed and turns off the tv and grabs your hand and leads you both to your bedroom. He lets you go into the bathroom first to start your night routine as he lies down on the bed scrolling on his phone. 

You walk out the bathroom and stand over the bed and lean down to meet Harry’s eyes. He plops his phone down on his stomach and you take this opportunity to kiss his pink lips. 

“Mm, I don’t want to shower anymore.” He whines in between kisses. You chuckle and grab both of his hands and try your best to lift your boyfriend up from the bed. Jeez, you weren’t an active gym-rat, but from just lifting up his body you felt like you did a whole workout.

“Damn, Harry.” You swipe a hand over your forehead. Harry laughed in response. 

“My bones are heavy, love.” He simply responds as he walks towards your dresser and opens up his designated drawer that has some of his clothes in it. “Be right back, lovie.” He looks behind him and sees you starting to make yourself comfortable on your side of the bed. 

“Don’t take too long.” You respond

“I’ll try not to.” He walks to the bathroom with a new pair of clothes hanging on his shoulder. He leaves the door open; the showerhead turning on.

A couple of minutes pass and Harry walks back into the bedroom; drying his hair as best as he could. It was easier for him to dry it now that it was shorter. You lift up the bed covers inviting him inside the warm cocoon. You both lie together, Harry spooned you from behind and as you brought one his arms up to your chest. You both fall asleep into a quiet slumber. 

But you wake up after a couple of hours. You didn’t even bother to check the time as you opened your eyes and slowly removed Harry’s arm from hugging your body. You sit up and walk towards your bedside drawer; already knowing your nightly routine. You grab the pack of cigarettes that were hidden under some of your favorite books and miscellaneous items that you kept forgetting to get rid of. You also get a lighter that was stashed inside your purse and go outside to the balcony.

The butt of the cigarette blazes to life as you take a breath in of the substance and slowly let a breath out. Your thoughts once again start to disappear with every intake of breath you take. It numbed them, made them disappear, but only temporarily. You knew that smoking was making your lungs get sore and your nose wrinkling still not getting used to the smell of the smoke, but you didn’t care at that moment. It numbed everything, it numbed your problems and it made everything feel-- better.

As you continued puffing out air of smoke you continued looking up at the sky, stars aligning the horizon randomly. With each puff of smoke you felt the anxiety slowly go away. You were almost down to the brim of the cigarette, so you could comfortably go back to sleep. Once you were about to inhale one last breath of nicotine you heard footsteps making its way towards the balcony. You freeze and hold the cigarette in your  fingers, bringing your hand to your side. 

“Y/n?” Harry says as he rubs the sleepiness out of his eyes. “What are you doing out here, it’s la-” He stops himself once he notices what’s in your hand. He looked confused, he didn’t know you smoked. 

“Harry.” You reply. The cigarette is still in between your fingers, burning away. 

“I- I didn’t know you smoke.” Harry begins slowly walking towards you, concern sketched in his eyes.

You look down at the cigarette that continues to burn away and you feel tears start welling up in your eyes. You bring the cigarette up in front of you and stomp it on the floor, watching as the smoke starts consuming your nose. Regret. Regret is what you were feeling as you turned to Harry’s presence, his demeanor causing you to feel like a deer in front of headlights. You’re sorry. Sorry that you never told him that you picked up smoking because of not having anything else to control your anxiety. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t know what else to do.” 

Harry runs to you and embraces you with all his might. “Oh love. Come here.” You snuggled into his embrace and began crying. You held onto his arms so tightly that you were clutching onto him afraid of him letting go. Letting you go.

“I was scared. I just wanted to help… myself.” You mutter.

Harry held you as he ran his hands down your back. He would occasionally massage your head. “I promise you baby, I am going to be here for as long as you want me to, then you can let me in and help you.” He held onto you tightly and he kissed the side of your face. Harry let you cry on his chest as he rubbed your back soothingly, trying best to comfort you.

“I just felt alone.”  

Harry steps back a bit and looks you in the face, concern written all over his green irises. He held your hand in his and met your eyes filled with tears.“You have me, darlin’.” Harry said, his fingers lightly brushing away the stranded tear on your cheek. “I’m right here, Y/N.” He reassures you. Bringing you close to his body again.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m sorry.” You let out, Harry cupping your cheeks trying to calm your nerves. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. You have nothin’ to apologize for, lovie.” He looks at your bloodshot eyes. Seeing you sad like this he felt broken. Broken that he didn’t know how to make you feel better, broken because he hated seeing you without a smile on your face. Broken that he wasn’t aware that you were hurting. “Is it okay if I ask what’s going on?” He said with a soft voice. 

“I– I just been sad and overthinking, okay.” You let out, your hands coming up to cover your face. You felt ashamed, as if a parent just witnessed the most disappointing act from their child. You hated feeling insecure in your own skin; you felt worse that it was Harry that was looking down at you with concern in his eyes and his body weight shifting to softly take your hands in his and seeing your face. 

“Hey, hey. Y/N, baby, you’re scaring me. What are you sad about,” Harry steps back a bit giving you room to speak and mostly giving himself self-control from forcing you to share what’s been making you sad. “Baby, I’m right here, okay. It’s just me.” 

You slowly turn your head away from his gaze and look at the sky. Your hands no longer covering your flushed face, but now twiddling with your shirt, Harry’s shirt. You feel bad that you now created droplets of tears on the collar of his favorite shirt. 

“I just have been dealing with a lot of negative thoughts and I just… sniffle… I didn’t want you to worry about me.” Your hands constantly were moving from your face down to your shirt. Harry catches your little antics and walks towards you, slowly, making sure that he has a good distance between you two before he starts again.

“Y/N. I had no idea that you were going through something. I had the feeling that you were acting a bit different, but never thought that something was affecting you,” He waits for your permission to come in closer and so he takes no time and has his hands cupping your cheeks. Tears staining your beautiful cheeks that he so dearly loved taking his time in kissing and feeling your soft skin against his ring-clad fingers. “I wished I knew you were going through something.” He confessed, sensing a feeling of regret that he felt for not seeing the signs of you feeling depressed and not being your energetic-self. Now as he looks back, he noticed your change of behavior. Being a bit more reserved, but still communicating with him which led him not sensing a shift of you. 

 “You always told me that it was your period messin’ with ya mood. I was so stupid to believe that. Baby, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you.” 

It’s true. You shared to him that the past couple of months when he would suggest going out to shopping outlets and going out for dinner you would simply reply that you weren’t in the mood to go out in public. That your period was getting the best of you and drained your energy. It was true that you had bad days when you were on your period, but you made him believe that it was your menstrual cycle being the culprit of you feeling drained. 

“I’m sorry, Harry.” You cried out, his hands holding your head as he hugged your frame and landed kisses on your head. 

“It’s okay. I know now that you haven’t been feeling good. Jus’ let me help you, yeah?” Harry looks down at you, your eyes bloodshot as a soft smile creeps up on Harry’s lips. You follow suit and slowly mimic a smile back. 

Harry leads you back to the bedroom and lets you sit on the edge of the bed. “‘M going to start a bath for you. Is that okay?” 

You nod in agreement and he starts turning on the bath faucet, making sure that the water is warm enough to calm your body and hopefully make you feel a bit better. As he is sure that the water is at the right temperature he comes back to the bedroom where you are still sitting on the bed. He kneels in front of you and looks up at you, his hands running up and down your arms gently. 

“The water is almost ready for ya. I’m gonna get those bath bombs you like so much and light up some candles.” He says, reaching towards your head and landing a kiss on your forehead. You softly smile at his action and continue looking at his beautiful eyes that you could never get tired of looking at. 

He goes back to the bathroom and takes a blueberry muffin scented bath bomb and throws it inside the bathtub as he watches the water fizzle and quickly change into a dark blue hue. He then lights up a couple of candles and sets them on the sink cabinet.

He comes back to the bedroom and Harry motions for you to stand up and you do and follow behind him making your way to the bathroom. He’s about to leave you alone in the bathroom for you to get undressed, giving you privacy.

You quickly reach towards his hand and he stops from walking out the bathroom. He looks back at you waiting for you to say something. 

“Stay, please.” You mutter softly. His hand slowly intertwines with yours as he shuts the door behind him and walks towards you. Nodding in agreement as he follows suit and starts undressing. You motion for him to help you unclasp your bra and he quickly does it with ease. 

You step into the warm water and instantly feel the water relieving your tired muscles. You didn’t even realize how tense your muscles were. Harry then follows you and lands both feet on the warm bathtub. He lies down first and motions for you to lie down against his chest. You carefully situate your body close to his and feel his thick thighs wrap around your own legs, his arms wrapping around your mid area. Your breasts touching his forearms. Your skin sinking into the warm embrace of the scented water as you shiver, goosebumps trailing on your skin yet again from the cool air coming from the bathroom. Harry cups his hands into the water and brings it up to splash water on your chest and remaining skin that has yet to make contact with the warm water. You smile from his gentle mannerisms as you lean back into his chest, your head cradling on top of his chest. You look up at him as he smiles down at you, dimples on full display. 

Harry kisses the top of your head and you close your eyes and smile in response. His soft touches always make you feel relaxed.

“You want to talk ‘bout it?” Harry asked, his hands making small circles on your belly.  

“No. But I need to talk about it,” You reply, holding onto his free hand that’s holding onto the tub. “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I have been thinking about going back to school. Law school.” You confess, playing with Harry’s fingers and tracing his knuckles.

“That’s exciting, love. I’m happy that you’re thinking about going back to school.” He soothes your belly some more. 

You turn your head just enough to catch his gaze. “Yeah, but I know how much you want to move in together. I want to move in together too, but law school isn’t cheap.” 

“We’ll figure it out together. I can always pick up extra shifts at the tattoo parlor and maybe sell some of my songs on the side.” Harry assures you. 

“But, I don’t want you working too hard for my sake. That’s one of the reasons why I was afraid to tell you this.” You turn your attention back to Harry’s freehand and continue tracing his knuckles. 

Harry catches this and softly tilts your head so he could see your eyes. “Hey, lovie. We’re in this together. If you have dreams of your own I will stand by you and help you achieve those dreams. We’re a team, yeah?” 

You smile up at him. Tears slowly start to blur your vision. You have always been like this. When new problems would arise you would shut-off, you wouldn’t tell anyone about what you were going through and it was hard for you to ask for help. You were that friend that always told people to reach out to you if they were going through something, but that’s the exact thing that you don’t do. Leaving yourself to fend for yourself; self-sabotaging yourself. 

You look away and land your hands on your knees, feeling tears starting to slide down your cheeks again. “I feel like such a loser. Why is this small thing bothering me so much?” You quietly say. 

Harry shifts his body just enough so he could see the state that you’re in. He moves a couple of your wet strands away from your face and tucks it behind your ear. “Hey, don’t call yourself that. You’re not a loser. You’re my beautiful girlfriend who's the strongest person I’ve ever known.” 

Pfft. “Strong?” You repeat, feeling an urge of disgust with yourself. 

“Hey, whatever you’re feeling, we’ll get through it together. You’re strong for sharing what you’re going through.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Harry.” You turn your head and stare at his eyes. Wanting to feel his lips against yours.

“It’s okay, baby.” He kisses your shoulder and notices how your gaze looks at his lips. He meets your eyes and leans close to kiss your lips. You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing his body closer to yours, feeling his body heat. Your arms run down his tattooed arm and leave his lips wishing for more as you start kissing his swallows on his chest. 

He brings your face close to his. “We’ll do this together, lovie. I promise.” He says through kisses, kissing every crevice of your face, making you smile from his facial hair tickling your skin. 

As you two finish up bathing and drying your bodies and changing into clean clothes; you started to feel better. You weren’t sure if it was because you finally told Harry what you were going through, or if it was because you had Harry with you being that only person to see you at your lowest and comforting you. You didn’t know, but you felt good.

You both get ready for bed. Harry finishes brushing his teeth and putting a serum on his face that you recommended him to try. You lay down on the bed waiting for Harry to walk into the bedroom. He discards his shirt and throws it somewhere in the bedroom. Thinking about that in the morning he’s going to be looking for that garment all morning. The thought of it makes you smile. 

Harry walks to the bed and lies down. He motions you to climb on him and you do as you carefully situate one of your legs to be between one his legs. You look at him to check if he looks comfortable.

“Is this okay?” You asked, he nods and slides a hand under your shirt, his hand running up and down your back. He kisses the crook of your neck. You lie your head on his chest and hear his heart beating in a steady rhythm. With the thumping of Harry’s heart you begin drifting off into sleep. 

“Goodnight, lovie.” Harry whispers to you. But you were already out. Harry takes it as a clue that you have already called it a night when you didn’t respond back. He smiles to himself and continues running his hands over your back, feeling your body relax to his soft touch.

That night was the first night that you felt good, happy even. You felt relieved, this was one of the first nights that you slept through the whole night. You didn’t wake up to a nightmare clouding your unconscious mind. You had Harry next to you, hugging your body, feeling his warm breath hit the crevices of your neck, feeling his arms wrapped around you as if you were his only safe haven.

The next day…

“You want me to be there with you while you fill out the college application?” Harry asks you as he takes a sip of his tea. 

You hold the mug of freshly brewed coffee and smell the vanilla hazelnut creamer and instantly making you melt. 

“You would do that?”

“Of course. I want to be in every step of the college process, if you let me.”

“I would love that, Harry.” You smile as you set down your mug. 

“Okay, my love,” Harry kisses the top of your head and whispers "I love you” to you. “I’m going to get something for us to eat. I’ll be right back.” He takes his wallet and spare keys into one hand and leans towards you where you sit in the kitchen island. “Kissy?” 

Kissy. A cute little phrase that you would both ask each other to ask for permission for a kiss. A phrase that started since you two were dating for five months. A little phrase that was childish, but you both didn’t care. It was cute. 

You smile up at him. As you took another sip of your coffee, then another one. Teasing Harry as a pout started to appear on his face. He then started blinking his eyes furiously making you stop drinking from your mug. He got you there.

“Kissy.” You lean over to him and kiss him. You cup his cheek and run your freehand into his hair. He moaned into your touch making you smile in response. 

“I’ll be back, yeah?” 

“Okay. I love you Harry.” 

“I love you.” 

He walks out the door with his spare keys being the only thing you hear as he makes his way down the corridor. Leaving you alone with your mug of coffee half-way filled in front of you. You walk to the living room and grab the laptop that was on top of the coffee table and bring it back to the kitchen island. You set it there and wait. You stare at the black screen of the laptop as your reflection looks back at you. You continue taking small sips of your coffee and wait until Harry comes back. 

////////

“Hey, darlin’ I got your favorite snacks and lunch from that Vietnamese restaurant you like.” Harry enters into the small apartment and takes you by surprise. You were reading a book that you always put off. He walked towards you and set the bags of food on the kitchen island in front of you. 

“Are you ready, lovie?” 

As time passed you completed the university application and stopped yourself to double check on every detail that you added on the application. You felt nervous, anxious about completing the whole college application process, but you knew that it was going to be worth it in the end. You were glad that you had Harry with you filling the application, because you wouldn’t have had the courage to fill it out on your own. You were happy that you were accompanied and had his support. Harry didn’t ignore the anxiety and the way that you would play with your fingers while filling out the online application. This was a lot for you and he understood that you needed a well-deserved break. 

“Hey baby, take a small break,” Harry grabs the laptop and closes it, but making sure that he saved the application before doing so. “Here, get some foodsies.” Harry passes you the large bowl filled with your favorite pho. 

You take a mouthful of the delicious seasoned soup and sigh as you feel the warmth of the soup comforting your body, leaving you in a relaxed state. “Thank you my love,” you take a napkin and wipe the corners of your mouth. “I missed pho so much.” 

Harry smiles in response as he takes a bite of his own pho. He sits closer to you as his knees touch yours. He gave you frequent glances as a way to know that you were eating well and keeping note of your reactions. You were comfortable which made him happy. 

The night went along well. You finished applying for the university and only waited to get a response back. A couple of weeks it would take before you would get a response. So you continued going to the bookstore and you were starting to share more things with Harry, something that you didn’t do before. You shared more about your past, your family. He knew about your parents and other closer family members, but you never went into depth with other important people that you grew up with back home. You were happy to share more of your life with Harry. 

You both spent more time with each other more often. If you called Harry that you were feeling down, Harry would drop what he was doing and quickly get to your apartment as fast as he could. If you were on your period and Harry knew about it he would stay the whole week to make sure that you were taking care of yourself and to obviously spoil you. Just because flowers were his favorite habit of showing you that he loved you and would randomly gift you little crochet stuffies from a local independent shop. He eventually got you so many that you were running out of spaces where to put them, but you loved every little crochet plushie, they were just so cute! 

The more time that you spent with Harry you hadn’t picked up a cigarette. After Harry found out that you were smoking to relieve what you were feeling he didn’t judge or tell you that you had to stop smoking. Instead, he didn’t mention it, but acknowledged that it was something that you picked up when you were feeling depressed. So, you were grateful that he was there with you along the way of you figuring out how to slowly stop smoking. 

Weeks later…

And so you waited two weeks. In those two weeks a lot happened. Harry was getting his stuff ready to officially move in with you. Nothing much happened, just helping Harry move in his boxes and get him situated in your now shared apartment. He was excited to start living with you and as he said it “Happy to wake up next to my lovie every mornin’.” You were ecstatic to live with Harry, and, well, he already was living in your apartment when he would stay some nights, but this was going to be different. You were going to wake up next to him every morning and being grumpy on Saturday mornings because Harry would wake you to go on morning runs. On a Saturday out of all days! But you were getting too used to him living in your shared space.

Later that week you received an acceptance letter from the university that you applied at. When Harry came to the apartment from work that same day you told him out of excitement. He hugged you tight and gave you so many kisses that overwhelmed you, but you didn’t care you were too happy. The following week you spent a whole week getting school supplies. Harry came along of course picking out the most random things that he swore that you would use in college. Who needs three white boards and two big packs of big sticky notes? You were content in getting one white board and one big sticky note pack just to make Harry feel better. 

“But you’re gonna need two of ‘em, lovie.” 

You chuckle at his antics, “Why two Harry? I just need one.” 

Harry stares down at the plastic covered white board in his hands. “Cause ya gonna need to jot down our date nights. You can’t fit everythin’ on one white board.” He reminds you.

“Bubba, one is enough.” 

You take the white board and pack of stickies with you along with some other supplies. Harry followed behind as he kept putting in colorful markers and journaling stickers in the cart. He definitely made that shopping trip amusing. And you loved every moment of it. 

Four years later…

You sat at every class lecture and followed along what the professors talked about. You were present, you were dedicated and it paid off. There were times where you had breakdowns because of the workload that law school brought to you and it was a lot to handle. The anxiety that was kept at bay was slowly creeping onto you during those troubling school semesters that were always heavy with coursework, but you always had Harry there to guide you through breathing techniques. It was a lot, but you were happy that you were pushing through those semesters for you, for your future and Harry’s. You were proud all those days that you showed up to class prepared to learn the material and to later take the bar exams.

Those four years really did pay off. Cap and gown on and a smile on your face as you waited for your name to be called on the intercom. You walked onto stage as you had the urge to cry, but you stopped yourself because you knew that this was your moment. You were ecstatic that you finally met your goal. Going to school and having Harry and your close family members with you during this long journey. Happy that you were no longer alone… well, you were never alone, but you finally knew what it felt to let people in, let people care about you and let them hear your struggles. You were no longer suffering in silence. You were now walking down the stage with a diploma in your hand, holding onto your biggest achievement and you were excited to see what the future held for you. You knew that whatever life would bring you, you would no longer fight it alone, because you had people and you were no longer going to struggle in silence.

[zarnzarn]

You made me obsessed with poly Odysseus Athena and Penelope I can't spend a minute without thinking about those three

Sometimes a relationship really is just a husband, a wife and a 7 ft tall goddess

HAHA IVE SUCCEEDED COME WALLOW HERE IN MY LITTLE CAVE POOL OF MADNESS HELP ME MAKE MORE!!

but fr I'm so glad you and so many people enjoyed!!!!!!!! they're constantly taking up space in my mind also, i just very much enjoy their craziness together!! here's some more ideas I had for my specific au:

-Olympus is Fucking Scared. imagine ur cold, unemotional stepsister suddenly going from :| and :/ to :) and :D because of three random guys. they're happy for her but ares also regularly begs them to consider the fact that Athena has been replaced by a robot

-Penelope is giddy because FINALLY she can let go of all her etiquette and court the hell out of the beautiful giant woman who's been a part of her life for so long. they have a bit of conflict at the start as Penelope goes full throttle on the romance and Athena is,, overwhelmed and uncomfortable because her feelings are really mixed on it.

but eventually they find a middle ground, where pen and athena have hairbraiding sessions together every morning and pen sends her off with flowers in her hair, maybe some jewelery they both compromise on; weave together flirtingly; Athena'll accept the occassional grand romantic gesture even if she's blushing and rolling her eyes the whole time. and yes she very much still seduces Athena into bed and drags her off into dark corners to make out- of which Athena complains often but never says no too. sometimes she doesn't want to participate, but she's always down to watch <3

-odysseus and Athena don't change much in dynamic post reunion; bffs usually found teasing each other or bickering, except this time they kind of see it when Penelope points out that there is a Lot of Tension, since they're also leaning into each other's space with smirks half the time. they can admit it to each other, but if anyone asks directly they actually are deeply mortified by the fact that they like each other, tsundre style <3 one conversation with hera had them both actually gagging lmao. if left alone together their first instinct is to nap on each other, and maybe their second or third would be to fool around. fourth, if there's a place to spar around; they're quite physically violent with each other and can't quite understand everyone else's mild horror at this- they've literally been fighting since they've met.

(pls imagine hera coming to ask questions of flower arrangements and walk into athena blocking a sword to the face and swinging a kick at odysseus' torso, both of them smiling wide as if they're not trying to kill each other. hera was Not Pleased.)

-telemachus is appearing soon so I won't talk abt him or the rest of the family but! they r also walking around like a bunch of ants to come meet Athena when they feel like it

-athena has a few strands of grey hair from after meeting them. she loves it.

-they try to ignore the rest of the pantheon, for obvious reasons. Athena and Zeus don't talk yet, even though the latter is almost daily trying to reach out to her and awkwardly try to discuss the wedding.

-both of them often come to sit on Athena's throne during Olympus gatherings. whisper and crack jokes to her, very relieved to not be the ones ruling. it takes a bit to get used to the sight of Athena smiling with her hair braided and flowered, leaning into her new spouses fondly, but everyone's very happy for her.

[cabinseventheaterchick]

BLOG NEWS: Check back later!

I now run a Riordanverse roleplay Tumblr Community! Everyone is welcome!

Kat if she had a Wikipedia page (her lore summarized)

Portrait done by the incredibly talented @apollos-coolest-child

Oh, hi! Didn’t see you see there. I’m Kat Carter!

Okay, lemme think… I’m fifteen, daughter of Apollo currently at Camp Half-Blood with my homies <3

When I’m not at camp, NYC is my home base. You can probably find me in Apollo cabin: practicing monologues/songs, playing matchmaker (it’s not just for Aphrodite kids!), or staging a kitchen coup d’état so I can bake something delicious.

he gets his own category:

@ellis--wakefield — my boyfriend <333

he’s really cute and he’s great at capture the flag and he’s nice to the newbies and damn he’s just idk how to even describe him ‘cause words cannot

Former… um… let’s just say people I used to know:

@lukemessedup — Good boss, bad business

@lieutenant-of-kronos — I regret letting him convince me to join up but he’s a nice guy.

@alabaster-c-t — Yep. You read that right. Bro is apparently not dead, nor has ever been.

@the-song-of-the-moon — We’re starting an ex-Titan Army therapy group together :3

Uncle Kronos (links to the Wayback Machine of the first version) — Literally cannot believe I wrote this. Uncle Kronos was a good person. I think I’ll always miss him, but I’m glad he found peace. Here’s to you, Uncle K.

@existence-is-pain-ahhhhhhhh — need I say more? He’s awesome. Case closed.

@the-better-castellan — new addition to the List Of People Who Aren’t Dead After All! They’re cool trust me

@peyton-is-cool — I missed him loads. Thank the gods he’s safe—he’s been in Texas? I guess?

Totally irresponsible pseudo-father to half of CHB (he does actually care about campers but he’s got a reputation to uphold):

@dionysus-god-of-all-things-wine

My fellow campers, love y’all:

@thanatoss-favorite-demigod — best murder road trip buddy a gal could ask for

@thehadescabincounsler — I’ve adopted them into Apollo cabin. They’re now officially an honorary child of the Sun Dude.

@thatonebitheaterkid — my sibling. too many pets (affectionate)

@that-dam-daughter-of-poseidon — my absolute bestie <3

@poseidons-favourite-daughter — training together ⚔️! She’s so sweet and a year rounder so I won’t be alone come fall

@yes-im-a-daughter-of-hades — she just got back from Tartarus, so you know what that means!… binge watching everything pop culture. Phineas and Ferb say what?

@lady-ariadne-of-milan — my coolest big sister. Be nice, she’s been trapped as a flower since, like, the Renaissance.

@bill-son-of-boreas — Ayyy! My Norwegian bestie!

@internal-bloodshed — I’m like ninety percent sure he wants me dead. If I step a toe out of line and hurt Ellis, my body will apparently never be found.

@the-better-stoll-brother — If anyone messes with him one more time I’m throwing hands.

Shoot me an ask, camp can get kinda boring!

(Psst. My general tag is #kat carter on the case, and my lore tag is #from the archives of kat carter)

(Extra psst. Do you want more Kat Carter content without actually having to roleplay? Send me an ask by picking something from my tag #ask game!)

[braidlottie]

rockstar!reader x lottie matthews 🎸☆⋆𖦹°★

there’s only one transmasc implied reader headcanon but you can picture this as any reader you want!!

↯ your band has been together for a while now, having three albums out,, but your fourth album was focused on lottie :33

↯ lottie thinks it’s adorable how you shield her from the public eye. you’re always scared to post her on social media because people would try to send her threats or try to attack her in public. but you were glad there was a positive side to it. when you told fans you were seeing someone, they were super supportive.

↯ but lottie wants your fans to see her and she knows it’ll make you so happy :((

↯ she comes to your shows whenever she’s free, and you make sure she’s set up in the vip booth instead of being in the pit/nosebleeds. plus she has a better view of u :3

↯ she even goes on tour with you! she surprises you right before you’re about to leave with her suitcases packed and ready :(( your band loves her so much (i feel like your drummer called her mom once) cuddling in those tight little bunks at night in the tour bus with her :(((

↯ staring at her the whole time while you play one of her favorite songs you wrote about her >_< and your fans have a fucking field day with it on twitter 😭😭 your ship name is trending and you’re getting tagged in videos of her staring back at you heh :3

↯ doing press/interviews for your new album and saying that lottie was the inspiration behind it :((

↯ lottie eventually gets social media and likes fan edits of you and her and the band :] and even interacting with fans sometimes :3

↯ your band does the puppy interview and lottie is taking you so many pictures of you behind the camera :3333 but when you do the thirst tweets interview, she gets sooo Jealous otuhfj;

↯ you’re literally drenched in sweat after a concert and lottie has those “fuck me eyes” :3

↯ lottie will literally sit on your lap while you’re writing songs. you’re so focused, scribbling away in your notepad with your guitar nearby, and she’ll just take a seat, wrapping her arms around your neck and playing with your hair >_<

↯ if you were big enough your band would get individual funko pops and she would keep yours at her desk in her office :((( her own mini bf 😊

↯ covering her from paparazzi because they’re very aggressive and always want pictures of her :/ a tabloid goes around where you pushed a pap down only because he touched her shoulder 😭😭

↯ SHE HAS SO MUCH MERCH. too much, it actually scares you sometimes. from beanie and stickers and hoodies, even socks,,,, she’s literally your biggest fan :}

↯ doing tiktoks with her for the band’s account :3 even on her own account, she uses your new single for her tiktoks about the wellness center 😭😭😭

↯ for your anniversary one year, you sing her the entire album that you wrote about her acoustically, and she had heart eye the entire time :( she even ends up crying halfway through:(((

↯ going to guitar center and watching you spend 4k on 3 guitars and a new amp 😭

↯ she doesn’t even have to pay for a signed cd/vinyl, she just brings it to you with a sharpie and a big smile :3

↯ a video went around of your trailer rocking from side to side and people immediately thought you were fucking (the two of you denied it but you actually were 😁😁)

taglist: @antlerbf @deerlottie @theyellowjacketschewtoy @girltwinklater @kessellluvr

[dreamzghostz]

TELL ME ABOUT THE TALENTSWAP AU NOW!!!

OKAY, I'M SO GLAD SOMEONE FINALLY ASKED ME ABOUT THIS.

So, this Talentswap AU, it's like the average killing game

*Oh no, Celestia (the protag) got kidnapped and forced in a killing game with 15 other students. She finds Kiyo (the support), and they have to escape, waaaah*

To be honest, what inspired me to make this are Danganronpa V3 (I like how they have features like Scrum Debates, Argument Aranments, and Mass Panic Debates), and the Danganronpa: Another series

So, yeah, everyone's talents are swapped. If you click on the "Danganronpa: A Dice of Despair" tag, you can see everyone's designs and talents. So, what I mainly want to talk about are the characters, their talents, and their personalities, backstories, etc.

There will be a LOT of yapping below, so keep reading if you wanna

‼️‼️TRIGGER WARNING FOR MAJOR SPOILERS IN DANGANRONPA, DARK IMPLICATIONS, AND PERSONAL/SENSITIVE TOPICS‼️‼️

Celestia Ludenberg - Ultimate Lucky Student: So, in this AU, Celestia is the protagonist. She has a mix of her and Makoto's personalities. She can be cold and a douche at times, but she does care about everyone. Here, she has a mix of good luck and bad luck, but they both work at the same time... Somehow? Her real name is still Taeko Yasuhiro, and she made up her fake name to hide who she really is since her family has very dark secrets that could easily crumple her reputation if spilled. Hence why she also doesn't believe that she's really the Ultimate Lucky Student.

Korekiyo Shinguji - Ultimate Swordsman: Here, Kiyo is the support/deuteragonist. Celestia runs into him after escaping into the gym. In this AU, he's aloof, smart, but also starts showing kindness after a while. In Chapter One, he's the one to snap Celestia back to reality after she has her initial panic. He can come off as a bit hostile, but that's because growing up, he didn't have many friends as he spent most of his time training since his family are mostly famous warriors.

Sayaka Maizono - Ultimate Gambler: In this AU, she's more of an anti-hero then an antagonist. She's pretty rude and demanding, and she uses Kiibo to her advantage since he's the Ultimate Butler, and growing up, she had many butlers and maids to her aid whenever she needed them. Eventually, in Chapter Two, Sayaka starts to see that Celestia isn't a bad person, and starts to open up to her. Sayaka's cruel and sadistic personality stems from her childhood where her mother was killed by being burned, and her father basically abandoned her, so Celestia's really the only person she likes. Also, she ALWAYS wins every gambling match (Always? ALWAYS.) As well, she's a bit narcissistic, and thinks she's above everyone.

Byakuya Togami - Ultimate Gamer: Here, Byakuya is more of like an AI (like Chiaki), because his father wanted an heir, and none of his kids were "fit for it". So, Mr. Togami got a friend to create Byakuya. Though, Byakuya was never interested in the Togami Corporation, and took an interest in video games instead. He's a bit insensitive, but does mean well. He doesn't express much emotion, but is protective of the people he cares about, and he has a deep sense of justice. He knows his father doesn't love him, but as long as he has video games, he'll be happy.

Chiaki Nanami - Ultimate Pop Sensation: In this AU, Chiaki is a human. She's a lot more energetic then her game counterpart, and is like who she was in Danganronpa 3. Ever since she was a little girl, Chiaki had dreamed of being a famous star, despite her parents' wishes. She loves to write songs and sing with her group, even though after Chiaki gets trapped in the killing game, her girl group gets killed by the Ultimate Despair, which sends Chiaki into despair, though she masks it well. She'll write a song for everyone in the place, and she'll sing it as loud as she can. She's a great friend to have, like a golden retriever!

Gundham Tanaka - Ultimate Traditional Dancer: So, growing up, Gundham's home life was pretty bad. His family was VERY strict on what he ate, what he wore, and what he said. His house was near a street, and every afternoon, he would sneak there and feed all the tabby cats, making him gain their trust, and making him feel a sense of comfort. He's kind of an asshole in the AU, since he had a bad home life, and it left a huge mark on how he viewed people. Unfortunately, he doesn't want to warm up to anyone, as he's secretly scared they'll just use him, so he closes himself off, and he only trusts the tabby cats.

Hajime Hinata - Ultimate Inventor: Hajime's mother was rarely in the picture, causing him to develop a very close relationship with his father. When his father got ill and passed when Hajime was ten, he found all his father's unfinished inventions. Determined to finish them, Hajime worked for hours, nights even, to make his father proud. Hajime gets his vulgarity and bluntness from the highschool he was at before Hope's Peak Academy, since the crude and rudeness was basically the norm at where he was. Also, yes, Hajime is Izuru in this AU, though I'm still trying to figure out how to write that.

Mahiru Koizumi - Ultimate Astronaut: She's the Antagonist of the AU, so I probably should have placed her up way higher, but I'm too tired to change it. So, Mahiru's mother was an astronaut, and Mahiru has always been intrigued by space. In the village she lived at, she would tell the younger kids stories about space and amazing astronauts, forming a close bond with them. Unfortunately, a few months before Hope's Peak, Mahiru's village was burned down, leaving Mahiru homeless. When she saw the advertisement for Hope's Peak, she took it in a heartbeat. She's kind, a little naive, and protective to make sure she can keep everyone as safe as she can.

Mikan Tsumiki - Ultimate Pianist: School was a very tough time for Mikan, as she was always the targeting of bullying, though she felt safe in her music class. After a very traumatic event, Mikan basically clung to her piano, playing it every day, as many times as she could. She's shy, but also very determined and kind, and she's quite skilled at the other instruments other then piano! Which she personally finds to be very cool!

Nagito Komaeda - Ultimate Anthropologist: Nagito's house was very close to a library, so every day, after school, he would stop by the library and find a book. The ones about culture and evolution were the ones that intrigued him the most. He spent most of his childhood in the hospital, so the library was like a safe space for him. He's also aloof, but somewhat disturbing and also mature. He has to keep a close eye on Hajime, so he's basically Hajime's babysitter (lol).

Sonia Nevermind - Ultimate Detective: Sonia was always very smart, even as a young child, so she didn't have very many friends as she got frustrated by people who weren't as smart. One day, the detectives brought her in to see if she could help them with a case, and she solved it, pretty quickly. She can solve cases quicker then the average detective can. She's pretty quiet most of the time, but she also has a strong sense of justice, is no-nonsense and quick, and she really doesn't have as much empathy as she probably should.

Kaede Akamatsu - Ultimate Princess: So, Kaede is the princess of Japan, so she also has to follow strict and unfair rules. She often but heads with her parents since she wants to actually be her own person and not follow their rules. Her parents had arranged a marriage for her, and when she found out about this, she quickly signed up for Hope's Peak to escape this. She's kind, charming, curious, and always willing to learn. She may not give the best advice, but she tries her best!

Shuichi Saihara - Ultimate Artist: Shuichi here seems like your average Joe. He doesn't really talk highly of himself, and he just does art as a hobby, so he wasn't really expecting it to become his actual talent, lol. Despite all of this, he's fairly nice and pretty chill, but can also be pretty morbid due to the fact he was born and raised in an unusual church. No, he isn't religious. Also, he loves art, but he doesn't draw eyes when he draws people, as he finds it difficult to do (this will come in handy later).

Kirumi Tojo - Ultimate Magician: Growing up, Kirumi always loved magic. She was a street magician for a while before being allowed to enter a school that allowed her to embrace her interests. She's kind, energetic, and kooky since she had been seen as a "weird kid" by most people growing up. Despite this, she's incredibly loyal to those around her, and she can be scarily serious when she needs to.

Kiibo (Idabashi) - Ultimate Butler: So, in this AU, Kiibo is also human, so I will refer to him as Kiibo Idabashi. He always loved helping people, despite what they asked him to do. His father, Professor Idabashi, spent a lot of time on robotic engineers, so that led Kiibo to wander off... a LOT. He always enjoys to serve people, and he enjoys Celestia's company. He doesn't like Sayaka much though, as she uses him. There are also times where he feels empty, like a robot. Though, he's hardworking, devoted, and can take on even the hardest of tasks.

Rantaro Amami - Ultimate Photographer: Rantaro still has twelve sisters in this AU, and they always loved for him to take pictures of them, to where they would even ask him daily to take pictures of scenery they liked and outfits they liked. Rantaro found himself enjoying photography, even in the darkest of times. At first, he's bossy and a bit stubborn, but he eventually learns to trust his classmates and even befriends most of them. After that, he's kind, still a little stubborn and bossy, but more willing to hear others out. Also, him and Korekiyo become quite close very quickly!

I'm SO sorry that I talked more about the characters and their backstories then their roles!! I'll make a relationship chart of them in a post eventually. Also, this took a long while and isn't my usual content, so my bad! Also, if you read all of this, thank you 💕

[ember-owlet]

do you have any agere thoughts on the new eps? I’d love to hear them <333

thank you so much for asking firelight!! i'm assuming you mean arcane but if i'm mistaken please let me know! /lh /gen

rambles under the cut ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ spoilers ahead for season 2 of arcane!!

i do have quite a bit of clips in the works to polish tonight before uploading tomorrow, so i hope it is something to look forward to!! but after everything the majority of the cast are vent regressors with different leans/dynamics,, especially vi, mel, and jinx give my girls a BREAK!!!

vi and jinx having to see their father be killed and resurrected on multiple occasions was so painful to watch,, like can we give them ONE stable paternal relationship pretty please /j

i am 100% convinced at this point that both jinx and vi are canonical regressors. i don't think i need to reiterate jinx/powder being a regressor since many people in the agere fandom have discussed it (and not mad about that in the slightest, i'm so glad to see it! if you firelights want to hear about my thoughts then feel free to send a flare! i'd be happy to share.) but seeing vi regress to her teenage self multiple times throughout the show was enough for me to slap the label on her as well.

niche agere opinion as well,, but can we appreciate heimerdinger in a cg role as well? specifically as a mentor? it was so comfy seeing him as a professor and being ekko's support line throughout the chaos. ((and guys i promise he's alright!! yordles are immortal <3))

i also have a bunch of ambessa content on the way,, can you blame me she was in her prime as the antagonist of season 2 and i loved every second of it,, like come on guys she literally called characters little one and child consistently she just IS a mama now.

and honestly,, i might be the only one but i am in dire need of regressor sevika content. like come on we have prime pickings here she has SO many baby moments,, not just a mama to me. she seems like the type to regress in private (and very unique take but i would like to think in headcanon and in a sfw context when she goes to the brothel she has a cg that she visits take care of her. she literally has the weight of zaun on her shoulders WHO'S TAKING CARE OF HER???). /lh /nm

[crsssie]

from one admirer to another : new year's eve?

pairing: leon kennedy x reader || masterpost: from one admirer to another

synopsis: from one admirer to another, an online penpal service, allows for two people with common interests to write to each other without ever revealing their actual address! Luckily for both you and Leon, you get matched up! What do eggs and Christmas even have in common anyway? sure hope it's that modeling business and NOT that Ada Wong addiction.

featuring: reader as scrambled eggs // leon as christmas

Oh, Christmas,

An Ada shrine? Send me a photo of it next time, will you? Or an artist's rendition. You barely doodle on the pages, so it feels a little bland or something. I have fun sending you quick doodles of me kissing Ada on the cheek, so you should do that too. Come on, I know you want to.

I'm sure you do a great job at pretending to be normal. I do too... granted no one decides to ask me about my hobbies. My hobbies include writing and fighting Ada-antis on twitter. Poor woman is already so hot and still has to deal with haters :( god forbid a woman exist.

As for that love advice you're asking for... you're crazy. You're literally crazy (;¬_¬). Like, come on. Just have your manager stalk them down. I'm sure it's not something uncommon in the industry. If anything, find a big event that they'll be walking. Even if they're a model that "doesn't do many shoots" surely you'll find them eventually. I'm kidding on the stalking part, by the way.

I read the added part on the back of the envelope that you had me as well, and honestly, if they like Ada, GO BOND. Unless you want nothing to happen, then keep on going with your day-to-day. Who knows, maybe if you throw that fishing line out you might actually catch that fish you want. But then again, why should you listen to me? I'm just a penpal.

The new glhf <3 chapter reaction was so real LMFAO I read it and sat there for a solid ten minutes just processing what the hell had just happened after reading it. It was not cute! Okra needs to AUGHHHHHH. ugh.

Updates in my life... not much, I don't think. I was helping my friends host the cupsleeve event and when Ada walked in I nearly passed out. I had to take a lap outside. That woman is so hot and the line to get an autograph was unrealistically long so I... just had my friends get my phone signed for me... oopsie. Call that nepotism or smth.

Thanks for the small trinket from the event! I'm sending you a handful of miscellaneous stickers that I dug up from my drawer. Sorry, I gotta go to a convention or something to get more Ada merch. My stash of things to send people can only last me so long.

Happy New Year!! scrambled eggs

You drop the letter off in the morning, stepping into the car with Ada as she rolls her eyes and tells you to behave while accompanying her at a shoot. You linger around, blinking at the clock as you spend most of the day on your phone.

"Come on. We have one last shoot."

"We?" You raise a brow. "I didn't book anything today."

"It's a personal one to post on New Years." She hums. "You know? Like we do each year?"

"Is that why you got extensions two days ago?" You raise a brow, following her as you wave bye to a handful of the people. "It was for this shoot?"

"I had to get them because of another shoot, and I just ended up keeping them on instead of taking them out." She raises a brow at you. "I'm glad you decided to dress up today."

"Is it just us?"

"Every year, sweetheart."

You grab her arm, grinning ear to ear as she rolls her eyes.

"You gotta post it on your main, though."

"Of course. I'll even tag your model account the company made you create with not even a tenth of the followers you have on your fic account." Ada hums. "Your photography needs to be shown."

You pretend to be hurt, stumbling after her in the street as the two of you get ready to meet up.

"I'm putting a short-haired wig on you anyway, though."

"Wow, you hate my long hair that much?"

"No, no." You huff. "I like your short hair better."

prev letter : masterlist : next post

[supercorpkid]

I was going to send this as an ask too bc tumblr screwed me and put my reblog as a draft but then I saw the new pics of Katie McGrath, got distracted and forgot about it until now lol

Anyways

So, ok, I need to ask (and you can say no, no problem at all) but ever since I read The Other Kryptonian I can’t stop thinking about how I just can’t fucking choose between Kara and Lena!!! You wrote it so fucking well that I can’t choose one and see the other sad. So, could you do an alternative ending where reader end up with both?

I even have this headcanon (I have a bunch of them for this story tbh) where she says she now has two hearts (bc of the device Lena made for her) and they belong to two people, so she can’t choose.

I actually have the whole thing in my mind but idk if you’d like to read it all

But as an added bonus: I also see Lena and Kara falling in love for each other and reader kinda seeing this happen but not wanting to interfere and let them do it in their own pace

The Other Kryptonian - alternative ending.

Ending with both Kara and Lena :)

Word Count: 3215.

Notes: damn it was fun revisiting this story. Hope you enjoy this!

part 1, part 2, part 3

They are all so nice. All of their friends are nice and genuinely good. It makes your guilt sit heavier on your stomach because they are heroes saving the world from people like you. Your heart is also heavy, you don’t think you can tell them many of the awful things you’ve done.

After a while talking with all of them, you spot Lena coming out of the elevator. You don’t know exactly what your face says, but Lena can read it perfectly when she comes closer and holds your free hand -the one Kara isn’t still holding.

“I’m glad you all got a chance to meet Y/N, but I think it’s time for her to rest.” Lena blinks at you, etched with support. You nod, suddenly feeling that you should rest for sure.

“You know, I was about to say that.” Alex adds, her hand makes way to your shoulder, and she squeezes lightly. “Go rest, we’ll be here when you wake up.”

Kara looks at you, query in her eyes. “You ok? I can fly you home so you can rest better.”

“Oh.”

Home.

That’s a word you haven’t said in a while. Where would that be? The room Lex used to keep you in? Your old house in Midvale? The ship? Krypton?

“I think Kara meant her home.” Lena explains when she sees how confused you are. “But maybe you should come with me.”

It’s almost unnoticeable, but at that Kara holds your hand a little bit tighter. And Lena’s heart beats a little bit faster.

“No. I mean, what if Lex comes back for her? I have to protect her.”

“Well, she can protect herself, she is also Kryptonian. Besides, I should be around to see if the second heart is working properly.”

Alex, hearing that, takes one little step backwards, aware of something you are not. Everyone else that was watching the interaction, looked somewhere else and engaged in meaningless conversations. You look down on your hands, intertwined with both women, feeling incapable of letting go of any of them.

“If the heart stops working, I’ll fly her back here in a blink of an eye.”

“Sure, and if Lex comes back for her I’ll use the watch and you’ll be there in a blink as well, won’t you?” Lena pulls your hand slowly. “Besides, I have extra space. Your apartment would be kind of cramped. She needs to actually rest; she won’t be able to do that on your couch.”

“My couch is very comfortable.” Kara speaks out of greeted teeth. “And she would obviously sleep in the bed with me. We’ve done that many times before, right Y/N?”

You’re not sure it’s a real question when Kara gives Lena a wry smile. Everyone else in the room is clearly trying to hide their discomfort at the situation, but all breathes are stuck in their lungs after the question, and you can feel the tension wrapping around your throat as your breath also gets stuck in your lungs.

“Oh.” And all of sudden all eyes are on you. “Maybe I should stay on the med bay?” You plead at Alex with your eyes, and she agrees promptly.

“Yes! I have yet to clear her permanently.” Alex comes back closer, hands on your shoulders. “Well, come on. A little bit more of the yellow sunlight won’t hurt.”

Both let go of your hand, unable to argue with that logic. Alex helps you back into the med bay, turning the yellow lights back on.

“You know,” She starts, giving you another pillow so you can get more comfortable. If only she knew this is the most comfortable you’ve been in years. “It’s a hard choice, but one you’ll have to make.” Alex taps on your hand lightly. “I can’t hide you out here forever.”

You let out a smile at that, and she smiles back at you.

“Hey,” You call her a moment before she leaves the room. “Thank you. Lena told me you’ve helped, and I know you did the surgery too. I know I’m a wanted criminal…” You choke on your words after that. It’s true, but still not easy to admit it out loud.

Alex assures you. “It was all Lex. I can tell the difference.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t really like me before that either.” You force a smile out.

“Water under the bridge.”

And just like that, all of those times you thought about Alex and why she hated you faded away.

It’s funny, having dreams. You were never once for having different dreams every night. But this time there was no falling from the sky. No yelling for you to run and protect yourself. No begging for your safety whatsoever.

It was only blue and green. Blue sky. Green grass. Blue ocean. Green trees. Blue eyes. Green eyes. Love and love.

It’s a hard choice, but one you’ll have to make.

It's a decision between secrets, deep understanding, familiar touches, hearts that play the same symphony, and love. It’s about going back to what is known. To what was supposed to happen all along. It’s choosing blue.

It’s a decision between blunt honesty, desperate trust, touch-starved skins, strong holds on hearts, and love. It’s about taking the leap. It’s about closing the distance your body has been protesting all along. It’s choosing green.

A hard choice, indeed.

--------------- different ending starts here ---------------

You wake up to the warmth of the artificial sun on your skin. You haven't felt this good in—well, maybe ever. Now, you're free to use your powers as you wish, not at the command of others. And best of all, beside you are the two women you’ve loved most in your life.

"Baby," you hear, the voice as familiar as your own heartbeat. You open your eyes, hardly daring to believe they aren’t playing tricks on you. But there she is—Kara Danvers, standing in front of you with a hot plate of waffles, just like she used to when you were both teenagers. And right beside her is Lena Luthor, her eyes bright as she hands you a steaming mug of coffee. You think this might be the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen.

"Can we talk to you for a little bit?" Lena asks gently.

You nod, a bit wary of revisiting the uncomfortable situation from last night. Kara places the plate on the bed, and you start eating before either of them can say another word. It’s been ten long years since you last had waffles, and you’d forgotten just how good they taste. Your mouth is full when Lena begins again.

"We talked about what happened last night." Lena pulls a chair over and sits down in front of you. Kara turns off the sunlight simulator, then joins her, sitting down in front of you.

"We don’t want that to ever happen again," Kara says, reaching for your hand. "We made you uncomfortable, and everyone around us." She takes a deep breath, clearly holding back tears. "It’s obvious that we both have feelings for you. You were the only person I’ve ever loved like this. I tried to have other relationships, but no one understands me like you. No one ever will."

"I know," you whisper, biting your lip to keep the tears at bay. "I feel the same."

"And I would give anything to have you by my side again. It would be—Rao, baby, it would be everything. We’d fly around the world, helping people like we always dreamed. And you’d finally get to explore Earth’s history. There are so many things I want you to see."

You squeeze her hand tighter. "Why are you saying this like it can’t happen?"

"It could. But I'm not going to make you choose me. I want you to be happy, and if happy is Lena, then — then I want that for you."

"And I want the same." Lena says reaching for your free hand. "I want you to have it all. You’re here, and you’re safe. And I finally have you next to me and darling, I’ll do everything I can to give back all that Lex stole from you." Lena smiles at you and you can no longer hold the tears back. "If you want to be with Kara, I'll support you no matter how I feel. I’m not going to hold you back from happiness"

"I—" There's a tennis size ball on your throat and you can't even swallow. "I can't decide. I love both of you. And I — I need the two of you equally. I've gone so long alone. I don't want that anymore."

Kara's arms are the first you feel around you, but Lena is quick to hold you too. 

"You are never going to be alone again, darling. We are all here for you."

The embrace feels like home, a place you never thought you'd find again. The warmth of Lena's arms, the steady comfort of Kara's presence—these are the things you've missed for so long. The weight of years of loneliness and fear melts away in their hold.

When you finally pull back, you see the tears in their eyes mirror your own. Kara's smile is soft, and Lena’s touch on your cheek is gentle, grounding you in this moment.

“I don’t know how this will work, or if it will at all.” you admit, voice trembling. “But I don’t want to lose either of you. I can’t.”

Kara nods, squeezing your hand. “We’ll figure it out together," she says, extending her hand to Lena. In a moment, they’re holding hands too. "All of us.”

For the first time in what feels like forever, you allow yourself to hope. Maybe this can work. Maybe you don’t have to choose. Maybe love doesn’t have to be divided like it has been all your life. Maybe the three of you can find a way to share it.

The tension that once filled the room dissipates, replaced by a sense of peace. You take a deep breath, feeling lighter than you have in years.

Lena looks at you, her eyes full of warmth. “You don’t have to rush anything, darling. We have time now. We'll figure out how to make this work for the three of us.”

Kara nods in agreement. “Yeah, there’s no need to decide everything right now. Let’s just take it one step at a time.”

You smile at both of them, feeling a sense of relief. “I’d like that.”

Kara's eyes smile, as well as the rest of her face, and she comes closer to kiss your forehead. You close your eyes to it, can't help but to. It's been years since your touch-starved skin has received any love, any proof that you are deserving of more than suffering. You can’t help the way your heart swirls with joy at this small gesture.

It's almost too long to be considered innocent. And before you even open your eyes, you feel another pair of lips, and you can't believe how well you know the difference, kissing your temple.

"I was never not thinking about you." Lena whispers in your ear, and a smile tugs at your lips, unbidden but welcome.

"I've missed you everyday since the last time I saw you." Kara whispers in your other ear, and you feel another kiss being planted on your cheek. 

And another on the other cheek. And another on the tip of your nose. Eye. Chin. Every inch of your face is showered with love and devotion, and your heart, Rao! Your heart has been beating so fast and hard, you're scared of failing you.

"We'd do anything for you." You're not sure who said that, or at least who started the sentence, but you know that by the end of it, both voices had mingled and it was your favorite sound. 

You slowly open your eyes, when you don't feel any kisses on your face for a few seconds. Kara and Lena are still so close, you can feel that you are all sharing the same breath. Eyes so close, blue and green are about to become one. Or even better, yours.

"Please," You reach for their faces, each palm on one of their cheeks. "Please," You beg again. You beg with your mouth, and with your eyes. Your love begs in silence and preaches in scream.

"Anything you want." 

Lena's lips touch yours for a brief second before they are replaced by Kara's and oh Rao, if only you knew all along this would be your future. If only you knew it was not a choice, but a balance. Not division, but unity. If only you knew you'd get what you've been searching for all your life.

"Lena," You blink at her and you can read her eyes perfectly as if you never once stopped seeing them, "I — I love you. It's you and all the things you do. You're all that I would think about."

She blinks too, starry-eyed and understanding. Face etched with love and desire. So, before you even ask her permission for it, she leans in, her lips meeting yours, her breath mingling with yours. This—this feels sacred, like something holy. And who else would hold you if not her?

It's perfect, incredible, but there is an itch on your throat, there's something more to be said. There's someone else to be touched and felt and loved. And Lena knows it too, for when she separates your lips, she gives you a nod and space so you can tell Kara what you need.

"Kara," You hold her face close to yours so you can whisper in her mouth, "Shovuhodh khuhp w rraop ehm tiv ewuhshehd im tiv aorghuhs uldifirstunia chao ukep."

Kara's eyes are full of tears because she remembers your mom teaching both of you a few sentences in Kryptonian and this is one you'd always say while looking deep inside Kara's eyes. I love you to the end of the ever-expanding universe and back.

And as an answer, she holds your face closer and kisses you like she would all those years ago. Hearts synchronizing playing the known symphony. Souls bleeding so. And who's gonna know you if not her?

This happens once every few lifetimes. You're sure. Who else can tell that they found love in two beautiful souls? In two people who care about you so deeply, they're willing to share and come together and overflow. 

When you look at their faces again, you're sure. The three of you will be able to make this work. The certainty is bone-deep within you.

But your life has never been just about good things. In fact, it rarely was. Even as your heart swells with love, threatening to burst from your chest, a voice slices through the warmth, pulling you back to a darker reality. And in a heartbeat, you find yourself thrust to the opposite end of the emotional spectrum.

“You all have something that belongs to me,” Lex’s voice cuts through the air, icy and cruel. Panic surges through your body, locking the breath in your lungs as your eyes widen in fear.

“Stay here,” Kara instructs, rising to her feet immediately. But Lena senses the shift in the atmosphere and follows her instinct, standing up as well. You’re left behind in the med bay, though you can see and hear everything unfold with alarming clarity.

“I’m sorry, sis," Lex sneers. "But I won’t share my pet with you. I thought I made that perfectly clear. Now hand it back, or suffer the consequences.”

A kryptonite gun gleams menacingly in his hand, and it’s pointed straight at Kara’s head. No. No. You will not let this happen. Lex will not hurt anyone else because of you, nor will he use you as a weapon against the people you love. Without a second thought, you speed into the room, positioning yourself in front of Kara and Lena, shielding them from the man who’s tormented you for so long.

“Lex,” you say, your voice steady despite the storm raging within.

“Oh, there she is. Come on, alien," he taunts, brandishing a remote control in front of you. But you hold your ground, eyes fixed on his face.

“You can’t hurt me," you declare with quiet resolve.

Lex scoffs, then presses the button meant to flood your body with kryptonite. But nothing happens. His face contorts in disbelief, fury simmering beneath the surface. He doesn't wear his frustration for long, though, as he snarls through clenched teeth, “I can always hurt you.”

You glance back at Kara and Lena, and in that moment, you know his threat is hollow. No matter what Lex does, no matter how much kryptonite he throws at you or how far his malice reaches, these two women would lay down their lives for you—just as you would for them.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” you warn, gesturing to those standing around you. “You’ve managed to piss off two Kryptonians, one Martian, one Coluan, one human-Naltorian, one badass agent, and your genius sister. Do you really think that a kryptonite gun will save you now that you’ve run out of people to fight your battles for you?”

It’s not the victory you’ve fantasized about for years, nor the vengeance you once craved. It doesn’t come close to the justice he deserves for all the horrors he’s unleashed. But to watch Lex Luthor stand down, to see the realization dawn on him that he no longer holds any power over you feels more liberating than anything you could have imagined.

“Don’t come near us again,” you say, your voice filled with the steel of conviction. “You know the terrible things I’ve done for you, and what I’m capable of doing to you now.” It’s an empty threat, but he doesn’t know that.

“Aliens,” he spits, disgusted, before opening a portal and vanishing from the Tower.

Lena's house is huge, but lacks character. Kara is happy to change that by moving things from her flat. Slowly, the space begins to fill with her colorful additions—bright pillows, whimsical lamps, and blue throw blankets that add a pop of warmth to the cool, neutral tones.

Lena’s massive bed, once so wide and cold, feels smaller now. Cozier. Especially with you sandwiched between the two of them, pillows surrounding you like a fortress.

Routine comes easily. What started as one-on-one moments with each of them gradually blossoms into a shared rhythm, a natural flow in which all three of you find comfort, passion, and peace in each other’s arms. Their love for you is steadfast, unwavering, and it only deepens with time. Just as your love for them grows stronger, you also witness the quiet affection they nurture for each other getting less hinted and more obvious. You’re grateful that you get to see it unfold, to experience it up close.

It turns out, you do have a home. It may have taken you long to figure it out, but now you know. Home, for you, is not a place—it’s the people who complete you. Kara is your Krypton—your origin, your understanding, your soulmate. Lena is your Earth—your deep-rooted connection, your forged and enduring love.

And together, it feels just like home.

[iwillseeyouinanother-life]

Everyone send me good vibes because I started reading Mockingjay 😵‍💫

I’m in chapter 3 but here are my thoughts to far

- I miss my baby Peeta ;-; fuck you snow you ugly bitch

- buttercup lives ! little shit is indestructible

- Gale still annoys me. I don’t care if he is being nice now. He is a bitch and I hate him.

- Finnick don’t you worry baby we will get your wife back.

- I love where Katniss is right now. I don’t love that she is suffering but I do love where her character is right now. It’s so boring when the hero bounces back like 2 seconds after hardship like it didn’t matter or it didn’t affect them. Katniss is severely unwell. She is combative and angry not only because she lived through that horrific nightmare but she has to go one without Peeta. I love that Katniss is unwilling to participate until she really knows what happened to Peeta. She is so angry that she goes on a hunger strike and refuses to follow anyone’s instructions. I love that there is nothing glorious about this. She is not a symbol of revolution, she is a severely emotionally disturbed child. She is not the greatest hero the districts have ever seen, she is a girl who has everything down to her humanity ripped from her. She is not a leader, she is a moving piece in everyone’s games that she is forced to play in. There is no glory here. Only suffering.

- I am really glad I avoided these books in middle school. I got the highlight reel from my classmates when these were popular but they told me a completely different story. Looking back— these books and movies were EVERYWHERE. You couldn’t escapee them. Many symbols made it into the hallways of our schools— famous lines, the 3 finger hand symbol, the mockingjays, archery. I’m not sure if it felt like this in other people’s classes or friend groups but where I was— it felt like oppression was trendy. All my classmates wanted to be from D12 despite the fact they all lived in the nicer part of town— I was one of the only kids in class who lived in poverty. Now that I’m older it’s scary how real these books feel because they felt so far removed from reality based on what I heard and saw in middle school. We might not be fighting in death games but we are still suffering and being deprived of resources and rights.

- I highly reccomend going back and reading the books they assigned you in English class as you get older. Being in college and reading books that I read in middle school and high school— I am catching all the things that went over my head. Especially because I am a social studies major— I know so much more now and have learned so much more from these books than I did back then. I really wish I had the motivation to appreciate books and English class like I do now.

[skzdreamz]

Hiii Could I please request smut with Hyunjin, in which he has a curvy girlfriend and this might sound weird but she’s really insecure about her bottom being big and he shows her how much he appreciates her ^^ ❤️

thank you for the request <3 I tried my best, hope you enjoy!!

Cake - Hwang Hyunjin

pairing: softdom!Hyunjin x fem!reader warnings: pet names, cussing, unprotected sex, fingering word count: 0.8K

~

you have always been a bigger girl and that came with having a big ass. you didn’t think much of it, but the older you became, the more anxious you were. you started to wear oversized clothes to cover it and you always avoided turning your back to people. it has even gotten to the point that you feel anxious about leaving the house.

as much as you hate having a big bum, your boyfriend Hyunjin does nothing but appreciate it. whether it’s giving your ass a quick pat when you need to move or his intrusive thoughts just win when you walk past him. he can’t help slapping or touching your ass whenever you’re with him.

the dress you’re were wearing today didn’t make it any easier for Hyunjin. your ass bouncing with every step you made. and you pulling down your dress over and over again to prevent exposing your ass to your boyfriend.

you catch him staring the whole time and it made you nervous. all the negative thoughts flooding your mind. Hyunjin seemed to notice, because he made sure to compliment you every time you walk past him.

and that’s the exact reason why you’re here now, on all fours, back arching and ass up in the air waiting for Hyunjin to finally insert his cock in your cunt. all the patting and ‘innocently’ caressing of your ass made you embarrassingly horny. you’re glad he was just as horny as you were. well, what did you expect when you’re wearing the shortest dress in your closet.

“Hyun… please do something” you whine. your ass wiggling a bit as the words leave your mouth. you feel embarrassed to be in this exact position in front of him. no matter how many times he tells you he loves your bum, you can’t help but feel conscious about it. being here in front of him with your ass on full display made you nervous.

he caresses you cheeks softly squeezing them every now and then. your slick is dripping from your cunt at this point and you would do anything to just lay on your back and have him fuck your brains out.

he’s practically drooling seeing you like this. “fuck.. do you have any idea how sexy you look right now?” he groans. you try to close your legs to relieve the ache between your legs, but a loud smack on your ass makes you stop your movements.

“come on now baby, just tell me what you want” he lets his finger travel from your ass to your cunt. slowly letting one finger slide through your wet folds. “do you need me here? or…” he places a finger on your clit, putting some pressure on your sensitive bud. “.. here?” you moan as he starts circling your clit.

the pressure and the pace of his finger moving on your clit made you see stars. you’re finally getting the pleasure you’ve been waiting for and he never disappoints you in pleasuring you.

before you can reach your high, Hyunjin pulls his fingers out of you. bringing his slick coated fingers to his mouth to taste all of you. he hums, satisfied with the way you taste. “daddy will make you feel good now, okay?”

before you can respond you feel him entering you. his thick cock sliding through your velvet walls, making you clench around him. he let’s you adjust to his size before picking up his speed. his hips snapping into yours, making your ass jiggle with every thrust. the sight of it turning him on even more.

you feel his dick twitch indicating he’s close to his release. “god, you’re so hot” he groans as he watches how his cock slides in and out of you. he grabs a hold of your cheeks, giving each one a harsh slap every now and then. the slapping and the deep thrusts send you over the edge. your cunt clamping down on his dick, making him lose his sanity.

he fucks you through your orgasm, picking up his speed even more. the sound of his hips smacking against your ass, the bouncing of your cheeks with every thrust and the loud moans leaving your mouth eventually send him over the edge as well. warm liquid filling you to the brim, making you feel so full of him.

he stills for a moment catching his breath before pulling out. you’re laying face down into the pillow trying to come back to reality. he softly caresses your skin, of course stopping at your ass a little longer than the rest of your body.

“never hide from me okay?”

~

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist <3

taglist: @softyoogi @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @sillyrabbit76 @luvshuu @stray-kids-smut1246

[travichughes]

Top 5 Travic moments and why?

i thought you'd never ask... these choices change every day but currently:

shower scene (4x01)

genuinely anyone who knows me knows that this is my favourite scene. i think it has just the right balance of comedy and softness. it has the first direct 'i love you', the hug is amazing and both travis and vic's heart eyes during the scene? ohhh i cry every time. it really shows that travis can be stuck in one single thought for ages, not being able to see another side, but when vic is there, she can get him to think differently. shower scene supremacy

2. the bunk room scene (7x06)

i rewatched this scene yesterday and it is simply perfection. season 7 was not good to them (7a specifically) but oh my godddd having this wonderful resolution after vic had a breakdown in front of everyone was just perfect because I'm not being funny, if this scene happened with someone other than travis i would have been livid. how intimate it was... it wouldn't have worked with anyone else. its no secret that travis knows vic. travis knows vic more than anyone, he knows her more than he knows himself sometimes. he knew that she was hurting way before anyone else did. he knew that after her breakdown she needed some weird analogy, some comedy, but she also needed to know that she could 'be the baby' and get taken care of. his soft voice as he spoke to her? lives rent free in my mind. 'i love you and i will always take care of you' is soooo important to me, and then the cheek rub, forehead kiss and the hug... i will never recover. travis, vic and their fans needed that scene.

3. the airport scene (7x10)

there has not been a single day since the finale aired that i haven't thought about travis saying 'so as it turns out, my life is wherever you are'. that scene, their whole arc in the finale eps, was the perfect ending to travic's story. travis realising he's stuck, having vic ask him to move to dc, saying no but later changing his mind, leading to him surprising vic at the airport?!?!!? its just amazing. we all know travis isn't a very romantic guy, but I'm not being funny, him turning up at the airport and surprising vic is the most romantic thing he's ever done. they both need each other so badly and I'm so glad he realised before it was too late. and no, he is not 'codependent' on vic. there's a difference.

4. first meeting (4x09)

4x09 is a masterpiece of an episode, the best episode in the whole show in my opinion. the entire episode should be highlighted but their first meeting is just so special to me because we see two people meeting for the first time, not knowing that their lives are going to change forever. travis probably was gonna leave firefighting because it was too painful for him until vic showed up. vic made a damn joke, not even a funny joke, and she made travis laugh. she had no idea what the significance of that was. she had no idea she changed his life with one joke. it's just how travis assigning her a locker changed their lives. and now they're in dc changing the country. together.

5. slowdancing at marina's wedding (4x16)

travic went through a lot in season 4, individually and together. but how peaceful this scene was, it was the perfect send-off for the best season of travic there ever was. travis was prepared to put aside his grief and his anger for his best friend because he wanted her to be happy. 'i love you. you're my person. and you always will be' changed so many lives. she's his person. no guy, no fight, no job will ever change that.

honourable mentions: travis taking vic to see ripley for the last time (2x15), travis waking up from the nightmare (6x12), all the travic scenes in 2x01, vic reassuring travis that she's okay after her electrocution (5x05), suuushiiii for breaakkkffaaasstttt hug (7x10)

thanks for reading and pls feel free to discuss in the comments!!!

[bonefall]

Obviously nobody should be talking poorly about any of Bumble's competitors but it's insane how people voting for Alex are going 'its a CAT'. Like, okay and? Alex Dewitt is ink on paper and we rightfully take issue with her writing to the point of making it a term, so why is it any different when a fictional cat has misogynistic writing? And these are cats with a society, laws, religion, and understanding of (herbal) medicine. They are on par with people. And, it's a YA series. Shouldn't people take the message "fat, abused women dying isn't a problem because they can't contribute ackshually, and if we acknowledge it is how can the goodboy main character stop licking his brother's kitty boots if he's a bad person :(" as a red flag in any series? Let alone one for kids? Like, did everyone outside of the fandom miss the Ashfur defense? Because I was there for it and it was pretty clear a LOT of impressionable children genuinely believed the "he only loved too much" excuse hook line and sinker, and blamed Squirrelflight for everything. There were so many fans genuinely believing that I literally remember seeing hate art and fanfics portraying Squirrelflight as a horrible person just for asking to stay friends. That alone was a testament to how harmful Warriors can be, all because of that one scene of Ashfur being spotted in StarClan.

And with that fiasco in mind, how can anyone trivialize it to Bumble being 'just a cat'? Especially when kids are reading this, and could really take the harmful message Gray Wing the """Wise""" has for them that if you have nothing to contribute to the people you desperately need help from, you are stupid for trying to ask for it. I was lucky to not take any of the really harmful portrayals relationships in Warriors to heart, but not everyone will be. People should support Alex all they want, she deserves it! But downplaying what happened to Bumble because she's a cat is harmful :(

Alex DeWitt's story is so shocking and straightforward that you're able to sum it up with a single word; "Fridging." It's become the touchstone for a wider discussion about misogyny in media because it is so evocative and so easy to explain as an example.

That IS important. That IS a legacy.

But somehow, if you try to explain how EARLY misogyny in media starts, and how pervasive it is even in "less respectable" mediums like YA xenofiction, they lose their fucking minds. People who refuse to read anything at all going, "what could possibly have happened to a cat?"

You know what, though? I'm GLAD Bumble is winning, and I'm proud of this fandom and our campaigning. I think we actually deserve to be a little smug about this after all the damn "justa cat" comments. Bumble doesn't HAVE a legacy. The book doesn't VALUE HER LIFE AT ALL! "It's so sad Clear Sky is going to have his reputation ruined for killing this useless woman. I never liked Bumble anyway, what matters about this is my poor brother :("

The runner of the Canon Misogyny Tournament mentioned in passing how they kinda take issue with the idea of quantifying misogyny based on suffering because of how it oversimplifies the insidious ways it can express in a narrative, and I've thought a lot about that a lot. They're right.

And Alex is THE posterchild of this because her death is ghoulish. We needed what happened to her as a simple, evocative term, to advance the conversation around media misogyny and get it through people's skulls. But, she has become the conclusion of a sentiment that the more gruesome the death is, the more misogynist that makes it.

but. The fridge was not the misogynistic part of what happened to Alex. THE FACT SHE WAS ONLY INVENTED TO DIE FOR THE PAIN OF A MAN IS. THAT is what the term "fridging" is supposed to point out; The absolute LACK of interest in her as a 3-dimensional character, in women as people, to the point where the writer chose to send Alex out in a gorey, disrespectful way solely as a motivator for her boyfriend. THAT is the bad part.

But instead people have latched onto the fridge half. More violent = more misogyny.

There's a lot of ways for a narrative to be misogynist, though. To downplay the lives, emotions, or contributions of women characters, and to reinforce real-world bigotry.

Warrior Cats does a LOT of this, blaming bad mothers who didn't shut up and accept their 'purpose in life' for Brokenstar's tyranny, making it a TRAGIC thing that Clear Sky is being held accountable for murdering women because his man pain makes it ok, and even blaming Squirrelflight for rejecting Ashfur's advances which caused him to go "crazy" and attempt to murder her children (until, of course, the welcomed retcon of TBC).

Bumble's death, because she is a fat woman, is treated as unavoidable. It's not a terrible thing she died, Gray Wing never really liked her anyway, what REALLY "matters" is that now no one likes her murderer.

She was stupid and selfish to even ask for help, because she is so fat and weak. To be upset at all that her only friend watched her get dragged back to her abuser. Even as she bleeds out, she gets to listen to Turtle Tail making up excuses and wishing she "could have found happiness."

All while Tom the Wifebeater, the fat man who physically assaulted two women, gets a big cutesy redemption death and honored and beloved by everyone and even gets to "lose weight and that's so good :)". Because the books value the lives of men more than the lives of women, plain and simple.

Bumble wasn't just fridged. It's worse than that. Her life doesn't even have enough value to get Clear Sky held accountable for murdering her, because beloved writer favorite Gray Wing hated her for being friends with his wife and doesn't want anyone to hate his poor, innocent big brother :(

Like you said, you can ask anyone in this fandom and they'll tell you about the impressionable kid they were, or have MET, who was badly influenced by the constant misogyny of these books. People who defend Bramblestar tooth and nail as he abuses his wife, the screeds against both Leafpool and Nightcloud for making Crowfeather sad, and the absolutely radioactive Ashfur Defenders who have thankfully died down since TBC's welcome retcons.

It doesn't just end with annoying internet comments. Those kids carry that kind of message with them. It reinforces existing biases and causes them to downplay abused women and toxic men in their real lives.

But sure, "just a cat." Cool way to downplay the 20-year-old bestselling YA fantasy series that is still ongoing but ok. 50000 Bumblesweeps upon ye.

(though i do also have to say, since I started speaking more about it today, I'm seeing more non-wc fans push back against the 'just a cat' comments. Sincerely, thanks guys. It's not every DC fan or Alex voter, just a very vocal section of sore losers willing to downplay misogyny because they're angry.)

[persephoneprice]

aaa lily this ask game is so cool and amazing!!

i have soo many people id love to compliment so here goes

lily - im gonna start off with complimenting u bc u were my first friend on here! i feel like u connected the fandom together and ur kindness and friendliness is the reason we're so tight-knit now. ur literally the heart of our fandom and i wouldn't have it any other way. you're creative, hilarious and a wonderful human being, pls know that ❤️

@satisaranea - lynn u r literally the best ilysm /p. ur literally just like me for real, a fellow brit teenager, kmfdm enjoyer and ex danganronpa nerd. ur also incredibly talented and ur takes are SO refreshing to see in this fandom 💗

@keeperofsecretsunderthehill - i love our chats together so so much, u get me fr. im so glad we started talking and became friends, ur so awesome and ur ocs are so incredibly fascinating and i love every single one of them (nikole i would protect u with my life)

@felixravinstills i admire u so so much. ur felixposting has not only intrigued me but inspired me to create and find happiness (and every other emotion lmao) in others art and my own ♥️ i think i've said this before but you're the reason i began posting my writing here and im forever grateful for that.

@fairyhagmother - nell omg. first of all im so glad ur here in this fandom bc most of the corso lore would be lost without you (vigiles, juvenes, vast majority of the Glore). you bring so many amazing ideas and concepts to the table and i aspire to be like that one day ❤️ ur also genuinely so sweet and im glad we're friends!!

@coryo - first off im forever greatful you and lily created the server bc tbh idk where id be without it. ur an Og Tbosaser TM and ur ideas about it are so interesting and cool!!! i appreciate ur always open to talk on the server and are so welcoming. ur art is also very very cool.

i do have More but these were the ones i wanted to get off my chest ❤️ (will perhaps send the rest later if it isn't too annoying 🤧)

ask game! ah thank you this is wonderful bel!!

it’s so sweet of you to say i connected the fandom 🥺 you’re my og tbosas friend and i cherish you <3

@satisaranea is such a delight! i’m so glad we managed to trap the haymitch stan into our corse creatures craziness!

@keeperofsecretsunderthehill is such a sweetie and is so creative!! i always love hearing her lore <3

@felixravinstills my beloved <3 truly a pioneer 😌 always inspiring me and making me feel more comfortable to share me own silly thoughts and ideas!

@fairyhagmother we are all so lucky to have nell <3 she’s so smart and adds such fun insight and ideas for all of our most insane senior citizens

@coryo i’ll never be able to express enough how grateful i am for him!! creating the corso creatures server really brought us all so much closer <3